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“You wanted to know more about anxiety attacks?” Axel asked Christian.
My blood chilled in my veins. Meghan caught my eye from across the table. Her eyes flickered to Christian for a moment before they settled back on me. I swallowed thickly.
With that one glance, she knew Christian had witnessed my anxiety attack and that his story about hearing me drop my books was bullshit.
“Yeah,” Christian told him. “I was taught in school about the different ways to help coax people out of them, and they taught us coping mechanisms, but not much else,” Christian told him. “They just explained there’s a lot of triggers. I was wondering if you could explain to me some of the triggers.”
I picked at my food, suddenly not even hungry anymore. Julian gently squeezed my shoulder as he walked past me with the broom and dustpan.
“Specific triggers depend on the patient as an individual. But if you’re speaking of just in general, some patients have anxiety attacks if they’re highly stressed or overwhelmed. Those specific patients would need to learn to control their environments and the amount of stress they get placed under–set boundaries.”
Christian took a sip of the sweet tea in front of him, and I couldn’t help but stare at his tattooed arms as they flexed. Every bit of his arms were inked, and the designs were intricately woven, one leading into the other. The shark on his hand blended into the waves on his wrist, which blending into a lighthouse. That lighthouse blended into a sky, which then smoothly transitioned to an eagle.
A tiny smirk tilted his lips, but he didn’t turn his eyes to me, though I knew he could feel me staring at him. With my cheeks burning, I quickly turned my eyes away from him. My eyes met my brother’s across the table. He arched an eyebrow at me, his eyes flickering to Christian for a moment.
I bit my lip, focusing my gaze on my plate again. “Certain events, such as loud noises, smells, or even just a picture of something, can provoke an anxiety attack.” Axel cleared his throat, drawing my eyes up to his. I knew he was silently asking if he could use me as an example. I shook my head at him, not wanting Christian to know that I was so fucked up. He knew enough as it was.
Meghan reached up and gently used her fingers to turn Axel’s face to her. She gave him a small, reassuring smile. He frowned at her, but sighed after a moment. Both he and Julian were extremely protective of her, and that meant also protecting her trauma from prying eyes.
“Meghan is allowing me to use her as an example,” Axel informed Christian. Christian shot Meghan an encouraging smile. She returned his smile, but there was nervousness ringing in her eyes.
“Meghan suffers from a combination of anxiety and depression,” Axel informed Christian. Julian clenched his jaw but focused his attention on feeding Holden while still listening to the conversation. “When she begins to hit a low with her depression, her anxiety levels rise. Something small and insignificant can cause an anxiety attack, but it happens because she’s already feeling down, so she can’t find the positive thoughts to help balance things out, so to say.”
Christian frowned at Meghan. “You have a wonderful family to lean on,” he told her, sincerity ringing in his voice.
Meghan gave him a small, half-smile. “I know, and I’m thankful for it every single day,” she told him honestly.
My phone vibrated in my pocket. I pulled it out, my face paling slightly at the message on my screen.
Unknown Number
You can tell Julian I said to go fuck himself.
I locked my screen, putting my phone back in my pocket. I looked up, surprised to notice Christian had his eyes narrowed at me slightly, a knowing look gleaming in his eyes. I swallowed thickly, turning away from him as I stood up from the table with my plate of uneaten food. “I forgot about an assignment,” I blurted. Axel narrowed his eyes at me, not believing me, but he knew I would come to him on my own time about what was bothering me.
“Make sure you eat your dinner at some point tonight,” Axel ordered.
Wordlessly, I nodded and took my plate into the kitchen. I covered it with aluminum foil and put it in the fridge, knowing I wouldn’t be touching it tonight.
Tonight was too much, and I couldn’t deal with more.
I couldn’t get feelings for a guy again. I wouldn’t allow another guy to rip me apart like Randall had. I was better off alone.
Christian was dangerous for me. I couldn’t be in his presence any longer. He drew me in, and I couldn’t take that. Not again.
Relationships destroyed people, and my last one almost killed me.
