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“I’m going to be covered in scars.” I whimpered. “Permanent reminders of what happened to me.”
Meghan leaned back from me and lifted up her shirt, revealing to me the bite marks covering her torso. I stared at her with wide, shocked eyes. She lowered her shirt. My eyes widened in surprise. “Seems brutal, disgusting men like to leave permanent reminders,” she said quietly. “But you know what? Axel and Julian—they still love every single inch of me, and now, every time I think about those dark times, I can easily remember each of my men loving me and taking care of me despite the permanent reminders of that sick fuck on my body.”
She gave me a soft, understanding smile. “Those two men, Ally—they will love you even while you feel completely unlovable. And they’ll remind you of just how strong you truly are.” She shrugged. “Dr. Gresham is going to dig around in your memories, and he’s going to peel back every painful layer of that night,” I swallowed vomit, “but he’s also going to teach you how to cope with it. For right now, though, I just want you to show both Christian and Caiden how lost and broken you feel, and let them love every single, shattered piece. Can you do that for me?”
I drew in a deep breath. “I know Christian can handle it,” I whispered. “But can Caiden?”
She nodded at me. “I believe Caiden has gone through his own shit, especially after being in the military. I believe that man is more than capable of taking care of you during your really dark times. Christian wouldn’t allow him to be with you otherwise.” She hugged me again before she released me and grabbed the throw blanket from the back of the couch. “Now, let’s watch this funny ass romance movie and eat our weight in popcorn.”
A small smile touched my lips as Meghan covered us both with the blanket. This was the kind of support I needed from Meghan. She was always there to remind me that it was okay to be loved and taken care of when I felt like this.
And after seeing what her body looked like? I knew that if she could get through this, then I could, too.
I might fall a bunch of times, but I would eventually stand back up on my own two feet.
22
THE HOUSE
Ally
Dr. Gresham took a seat next to me on the bench across from the late-blooming rose bush that I always found comfort in. It was unnaturally cold today, but we were still outside. I just wished that the air would make my feelings as numb as it was making my fingers.
“So, I understand you had a very traumatic evening a few days ago,” he began. I just stared at the rose bush. “Ally, what happened?”
I shook my head. I didn’t want to say it out loud. If I said it out loud, I was going to start crying and sobbing, and I was so tired of crying. All I did these days was fucking cry, and it was weak as fuck of me.
“Ally, holding it in isn’t going to help you,” Dr. Gresham reminded me. I squeezed my eyes shut, Randall’s face popping up in my mind in the middle of all that darkness. I shuddered, snapping my eyes back open again.
“He came knocking on the front door,” I whispered, not turning to look at Dr. Gresham. I wasn’t sure if I could get through telling anyone what happened if I had to look at them. “I tried to lock him out, but he was too strong, and when I slapped him, it set him off. I managed to make it to Caiden’s room, and I locked myself in. I was going to try to find something to protect myself with after I dialed 9-1-1. I knew if there was anything in that house that I could use, it would be in his room. But Randall basically tore the door down.”
I swallowed past the lump in my throat, tears pouring down my cheeks as I stared at the rose bush in front of me. My chest was aching. I reached up to rub at it, drawing in a deep, shuddering breath. “I fell unconscious for a few minutes, but the pain of him biting me everywhere—it dragged me back awake.” My shoulders shook as I sobbed. My skin crawled with disgust.
“I fought back—hard,” I choked out. “But he fought back harder. He started beating me.” I was going to throw up. “I was going in and out of consciousness. The last time I came to, he was pushing inside of me. When he was done, he just left. Walked out fucking whistling.”
I drew my knees up to my chest. “Caiden found me,” I whispered. I closed my eyes for a moment, popping them back open before Randall’s face had a chance to materialize. “He wrapped me up in the sheet from his bed, and he took me to the hospital.”
