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“Be careful, Liam. Kick some ass,” Sophie tells him, then glances at me with a sad smile. If anyone in this room knows how much this is destroying me, it’s her. I might be able to somewhat hide how I really feel from Liam, but with Sophie, I’m transparent. Mason gives him a side hug and tells him to call as soon as it’s over. Tyler comes downstairs carrying a bag and says he’s good to go.
“I’m going to be fine,” Liam says, glancing around the room. “I’ll be home in a few days.”
He grabs his bag, and I follow him outside. Tyler gets in the truck as Liam wraps his arms around me. It’s chilly, the cool breeze sweeping over my skin, and I shiver. Liam holds me, kisses me, and then leaves with an I love you and a reassuring smile. I watch his truck until the taillights are out of sight.
Yesterday, after Liam left, was horrible. I laid in bed and cried, sleeping for the better half of the day until Sophie forced me to eat dinner. Liam texted me when he landed and called me before he went to bed, but I didn’t feel any better about him being there. Talking to him just reiterated how real the whole situation is. Somehow, I fell asleep without him lying next to me. My bed hasn’t felt this empty in a long time.
I wake up the next morning, and I know my eyes are red and puffy. After I shower, I put on some jeans and a T-shirt, then grab a hoodie. While going through my morning routine, I realize that I need a new pack of my birth control pills. I got a three-month supply and put the extras in my nightstand.
As I dig through the drawer, I notice a white envelope with my name on it in Liam’s writing. What the hell is this?
Ripping it open and unfolding the paper, I quickly realize it’s a letter from him. Sitting down on the bed, I read it.
Dear Maddie,
It’s after two in the morning, and I can’t sleep. Knowing I’m leaving in just a few days keeps my mind wandering, and though I’m content to just hold you in my arms all night, I decided I needed to write you this letter.
I don’t believe in coincidences, but I truly believe I met you for a reason. You’ve changed my life. Since the night we danced at that frat party, you’ve made an impact on me. Through all those times I fought it, I still felt there was a reason you and I were meant to be together. I hope you understand how deep my love for you is because I never want to be without you.
You’re it for me, baby.
Though I’m not much of a praying man, I’ve been praying like hell we get through this. That I come back to you, and we can start our lives together forever. A year ago, I had no idea what my life would be like, and now I only picture you and me. Oh, how your love has changed me.
But the reality is, this fight is dangerous. The reality is, something bad could happen. I tried not to think of the what-ifs, but they’ve been hitting me harder and faster, and I can’t ignore them. If something horrible does happen, I want you to know how deeply, insanely, madly in love with you I am. You need to know I wanted forever with you, and baby, if I don’t come back, promise me you’ll find happiness again.
I imagine you’re rolling your eyes at me right now, but I mean it, Mads.
I’m going to fight like hell to hold you in my arms again, but if my time comes to an end, please keep living. Dance around the living room in your tiny leotards, practice downward dog in your too-tight leggings, and repeat your favorite movie lines when they come on the TV.
But never forget how much I love you.
So damn much, I still don’t know what I did to be the lucky bastard that gets to kiss you every day.
I’ll love you until the day I die, baby.
I love you always,
Liam
I’m sobbing by the time I finish reading his letter twice.
How could he leave me this? Was I meant to read it now?
If I say anything to him, it’ll mess up his focus.
But it confirms what my heart is telling me what I need to do. It’s New Year’s Eve, and Liam is fighting for his life tonight, and as crazy as it sounds, I want to be there to support him. I need to be there. If what Tyler said is true, that he’ll need medical attention afterward, I won’t be able to wait here, not knowing if he’s truly okay. My anxiety spikes just thinking about it all.
