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I think about Riley, and my heart lurches forward, wishing I could go back and tell him everything from the beginning. He may never forgive me for this, considering I know exactly how this looks from the outside.
Benjamin pulls me into his arms, forcing his lips against mine. I can’t even find the strength to kiss him back, but it’s not like he notices. He’s just going through the motions of being in a relationship. Turning around, he gives me one last glare before he gets into the car and drives away. The tears come in streams as my world crumbles around me.
“What the hell?” Diesel shouts from the porch. “Who the fuck is that? And why were you kissing him?”
When I turn to face him, Diesel shoots daggers in my direction with his arms crossed. I open my mouth to explain, but my words escape me again. Shaking his head, he turns and walks away.
The last thirty minutes feel like a blur, and it’s hard for me to even comprehend what’s happened. I went from being on cloud nine to being forced into the pits of hell. I’ve really messed up this time, and I’m not sure I can fix it without a small miracle and some grace.
I was willing to risk my heart, but it seems as if I’ve risked everything. And lost.
Chapter Nineteen
Riley
I’ve never felt anger or pain on such an intense level. As soon as I walk inside my house, my body begins to shake, my knuckles bloody and sore, as the adrenaline rush finally catches up to me. It’s been a long while since I lost control like that. I probably shouldn’t have taken it out on him because he seemed just as oblivious as me, but the way he grabbed Zoey and jerked her around like she was a child, pissed me off. No man will ever touch her like that in front of me, regardless of the situation.
Fiancé? How could this happen? How could she not tell me?
Why the fuck did she lie?
She’s the one who came here, searching for me, so this makes no goddamn sense. Now, I’m not sure what was real between us and what was an act, considering she had another man waiting for her back in Phoenix. The betrayal runs deep.
Zoey was supposed to be mine and only mine, and I truly thought she was. Until I realized she wasn’t. She belongs to another man, and I feel like a fucking fool, played like a fiddle. My heart is throbbing so hard and fast, I can feel it in my neck. I know I need to calm down, but I can’t. There’s too much anger streaming through me.
“Fuck,” I yell, pacing through my empty house that was supposed to be our home. Yesterday was one of the best days of my life, hell, even today was up until the minute her fiancé showed up and turned my world upside down.
Why didn’t she file the papers as soon as I sent them back to her? Why tell me she wanted to see if we had something real if she was already with someone? What the fuck?
Too many questions stream through me that I may never get the answers to. Maybe I should’ve stayed to hear her explanation, but truthfully, it hurt too much to look at her once everything unfolded.
My mind wanders, and I know I need to relax before I give myself a heart attack, so I go into the kitchen and pour a double scotch. After shooting it down in one big gulp, I then sit on the couch and stare at the wall. It’s going to take more than that to ease my mind. Scotch and sleep sound like the perfect combination.
A heavy weight sits on my chest, and it’s making it hard to concentrate on anything as my mind takes over, creating ridiculous scenarios involving that douchebag and her. Has she been intimate with him? Do they live together? How long has she been engaged?
A minute later, the front door swings open, and Diesel charges through with fury in every single step. If anyone is in my corner, it’s him, always. Even though we give each other shit on a daily basis, he really is like a brother. We’ve been through the wringer together, and nothing will change that. Diesel sits next to me on the couch, and while he waits for an explanation, I don’t even know where to begin because I don’t have all the pieces to the puzzle.
“What happened?” he finally asks, breaking the silence. “I saw her with the dickhead in the Mercedes. I almost took a crowbar to it and then kicked his teeth in.”
“You should have.” Just the thought of her being with that asshole who treated her with zero respect has me seething all over again. He looked old as hell too, at least in his mid-thirties.
