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“This is what you're here to talk to me about?” Tara puts her hands at her waist. “You're trying to make it seem likeyou'renot the one who did this to her, and somehow it'smyfault.”
By this point, my nose is bleeding so profusely it doesn't make sense I try to stop it. I move my hands and just let the blood flow.
“I would never do that to her.”
“Really,” Tara says. “Youwouldn't do that to her.You, the same guy who put her through so much hell.You, the same guy who refused to call her your girlfriend. The same guy who fucked Cassidy Coldwell in the same cabin that you brought Alize to and made her think it was a special moment?”
What? I never brought Cassidy to that place.
“What are you talking about? What ca–”
“Save it, motherfucker. Cassidy already told Alize that you took her virginity in the same place you took Alize’s too. I was there, I saw it—and from the way Alize reacted, it had to be true.”
I’m stunned into silence.
Tara seems sure of what she’s saying, but there’s no way it can be true. I never brought Cassidy to that place. I never even told anyone about it. Alize is the first—and only—person I have ever brought there.
“None of that happened,” I begin. “It’s a misunderstanding.” It has to be. “I admit that I was wrong for letting Alize walk away from me. But do you guys really think that I would stoop so low as to put her life in danger when she means so much to me? That is absolutely ludicrous.” I heave a burning breath. “I would never do anything like that to her.”
“Well, you're the only person she told, douchebag. So explain that.”
“That can’t be true,” I spit.
“I don’t trust you,” Tara hisses. “That day in the airport, you called her Alize when you were speaking to me.” My eyes widen. “At the time, I thought it was some nickname you had for her because it’s so close to her real name. But if you let it slip around me, who knows who else you told.” She’s getting heated now—her eyebrows are furrowed, and there’s a defiant set to her jaw. “I don't know what kind of game or angle you're playing here. But I have no reason to hurt Alize. She's the closest thing I have to a sister. I care about her too much to put her in danger like that. And the fact that she trusted you enough to tell you that secret, she obviously thought you felt the same way about her.”
Something in my chest constricts at her words. I can’t even remember what she’s talking about, that part about us on the trip. Is she even telling the truth about that? Tara’s talking about this whole thing like it’s unfixable. But I can’t let myself think that.
Because it has to be fixed.
There is no way Alize and I can’t move on from this.
We have to.
She’s the sun in my solar system.Without her, I'm nothing. The past few days have taught me that lesson a million times over.
“I didn’t let her down,” I begin. But then I stop because I made a few mistakes along the way. “I didn't let her down the way she thinks I did. I know I did some fucked up shit, Tara, but I would never hurt her like this. Why is that so hard foreveryoneto understand?.”
“Well, who did then, Alexander?”
“That's what I'm trying to find out, you fucking bitch,” I say, exasperated.
Tara slaps me across the face for that. I take it, kneading my cheek with one hand. Okay, so I shouldn’t call her a bitch. Noted.
“Look, I don't want to be here talking to you right now. You know what you did to Alize and you know why she thinks it's you.”
“I did everything to protect her. I made her my Courtesan.”
Tara cuts in. “No, you told the world that she's your whore. You refuse to acknowledge your relationship with her in a reasonable, rational way. And from what she's told me you actually threatened to do this.”
I run my bloody hands through my hair, then use the heels of my palms to knead my forehead. I hate that nobody seems to get it. Nobody will believe me, even though it’s pretty fucking clear. My body is thrumming with anger.
“No. I threatened her, yes, but I didn't meanthis. I meant just like taking her hostage, or something like that.”
Shock crosses Tara’s face. “Oh, and that’s somehow better?”
She would like it. But, I doubt Tara wants to hear about what Alize and I get up to in bed.
“Look, Tara, I know that I'm not your favorite person. But you have to know that it's impossible for what happened between Cassidy and I to be true.” I feel like I’m fucking begging for her to believe me, and it makes me feel disgusting. But this is what I’ve been reduced to. I needsomeoneto believe me. “You were her roommate for a while. If I took her to that place, she would have fucking bragged about it. And you know that even for me, this is way out of the norm. Why would I wantanybodyto hunt Alize? I fucking love her.”
