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But those are just that—fantasies.
This could be a reality.
Sure, I fantasize about Jackson. I fantasize about him doing to me all the things I read about in Lily’s books. I fantasize about him doing the things to me I’ve seen the few times I’ve watched pornography.
Still, that doesn’t mean I have any experience. My experience—other than Tracy and Seamus—is all imaginary.
Before I can overthink further, I sit back down at the table in front of my laptop.
Okay. Tonight it is.
My finger drops on the key, hitting Send.
Okay, Mr. Dark and Sexy. Let’s see what you’ve got.
Chapter Four
Jackson
“Hey, Mandy,” I drawl into the phone.
“I did it, Jack.”
“Did what?” I say with as much innocence in my tone as I can muster.
“I responded to one of my matches. On Lustr.”
“Oh?”
“Yeah. He wants to see me tonight.”
“Tonight? Sounds a little overeager to me.”
She pauses a few seconds. “Yeah. I suppose you could be right.”
“Of course I’m right, Mandy.”
“Thank you, Jack.”
“For what?”
“For not calling me Mandy Cake.”
Huh. No, I didn’t call her Mandy Cake, which is unlike me. Why didn’t I? I force out a chuckle. “You’ve only been pestering me about that our whole lives.”
“Can it stop now, Jack? For real?”
No, it can’t stop. It can’t stop for one simple reason. If I stop thinking of my best friend as Mandy Cake and start thinking of her as Amanda, I may start to want more from her than just friendship. There have been a few close calls over the years, but I’ve always been able to shove my attraction down deep. Kill it with a well-placed “Mandy Cake.” Besides, my Mandy Cake is not ready for the kind of relationship I like—which isn’t a relationship at all, since I don’t do relationships.
It’s sex. Dirty sex that can get rough and nasty and painful.
But God…the pleasure.
I clear my throat. “How many matches did you get?”
“Lots. More than I could believe.”
What the hell did she expect? When you go on Lustr and basically ask for someone to teach you sex, every horny guy in New York is going to respond.
