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“Anyone I know?”
“Someone from one of my classes. Alfred’s bringing her down.”
Her? My heart does a ricochet against my sternum. “Not…”
She shakes her head. “No, not Mandy. Boy, do you have it bad.”
“If I had it that bad, would I be here alone tonight?”
“You know,” Blossom says, “there’s always been something about you, Jack. Something about the way you dominate.”
“What the heck are you talking about?”
“Nothing bad. It’s just…you never have any emotion involved.”
“I don’t come here for emotion, love. I come for sexual gratification and satisfaction. But I do my best to please my submissive.”
“I know you do. You’re great at it. That’s not what I’m talking about. Most other Doms I’ve been with show some—even if it’s very little—emotion during the play. But not you. You’re very matter-of-fact. You take care of your submissive very well. You make sure all their needs are met. But you don’t have any feelings for them.”
“How can you say that? I like you a lot. I like all the people I play with or I wouldn’t play with them. I’m not going to play with someone I don’t like.”
“You’re misunderstanding me again. Sure, you like me. We have fun together. I please you, and you please me. But what’s missing is the emotional connection. The feeling that, during that scene, I’m the most important thing in the world to you.”
“That’s not true. I focus fully on my partner during any scene.”
“That’s not what I mean, and we both know it.”
“I’ve never been looking for anything more than physical,” I say. “I’m not good at relationships. I lose interest after a few months. That doesn’t mean—”
“You’re a good Dominant, Jack. I’m not saying that I haven’t enjoyed every scene we’ve done together. Well… except…”
“Right.”
“And I’d be willing to bet you were thinking of someone else that night.”
She’s right, of course. “I was unfocused, love, and you got hurt. I don’t know how I’ll ever be able to forgive myself.”
“Youhaveto forgive yourself, Jack. I forgive you. But I won’t play with you again.”
“I understand.”
She shakes her head. “I don’t think you do. I’m not going to play with you ever again not because I fear that you’ll hurt me. I don’t. In fact, if we went in the club right now and set up a scene, I’d be willing to bet that you will focus so intently on me that you won’t play hard enough, the way we both like it.”
I don’t disagree with her.
She continues, “I won’t play with you because it’s very clear that you have feelings for someone. Feelings for someone that you’ve never had before. At least not for anyone in this club.”
I shake my head. “You don’t know what you’re talking about.”
She raises her eyebrows. “Don’t I? Guess who didn’t show up for class tonight?”
I don’t have to guess.
“It’s her, isn’t it? Mandy. You have some kind of history with her.”
“It’s not like that,” I say. “She’s my best friend. I’ve known her almost my entire life.”
“I get it now. You’ve known her for so long that it’s almost impossible to try to think of her in the way that you’re thinking of her.”
