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Padraig’s cell phone called to me like a siren song that I was pretty sure stopped me from going insane as I ate my dinner.
I finished the bowl of soup, then my main course, leaving behind only the vegetables he knew I loathed—carrots. I even devoured the peach cobbler for dessert and enjoyed a glass of wine with him as I talked about a challenging yet enjoyable lecture I’d had today.
“I’ll speak with Bill. You only have a year left. It would be a waste not to complete your degree.”
That he believed Bill could stop me from finishing my education was a death knell I heard chiming in my ears.
I felt my entire being freeze and I forced myself to defrost, to drink the last few sips of my wine.
Somehow, I managed to intone, “I’d appreciate that. Thank you.”
He smiled at me.
Again.
Evidently, he was appreciative of my gratitude.
Ha.
How I maintained the charade by that point was beyond me. Sweat kept beading on my top lip, and every single one of my flight/fight responses was kicking into high gear when, finally, he dismissed me.
As always, I got to my feet and kissed his cheek. This time more than most, I’d have preferred to slap him.
Like a good little girl, I went upstairs, and even then, I carried on as if I were content with my situation because I was ninety-nine percent sure that he had cameras in there.
The only room that was safe was the bathroom. I didn’t think he was that perverted, and he’d yet to call my bluff because I stored some things in the toilet tank.
I was, however, sure he’d had the bookshelves on either side of the bathroom door bugged, which meant that I couldn’t have secret phone calls anymore.
All this because I dared to have a boyfriend.
All this because senior year, I started dating a non-Five Pointer.
My life had been a nightmare ever since.
Remembering how the doctor had checked my hymen, shame and revulsion crawled over me as I knew that would be expected of me again.
But Bill would’ve broken that sliver of tissue by that point and would use that to tie me to him.
I knew how this worked.
Knew it because Sarah had gone through it last year. Which took her out of the running for helping me. She was as stuck in this game as I was—we were pawns in a chess match that we should’ve dominated as queens.
But I refused to be a pawn.
I’d take rook or knight over queen, and I’d save my own damn ass if Padraig wouldn’t help me.
It was just a matter of planning.
As always, after dinner, I worked on my homework. I gave the cameras a show just in case he was watching, and then, as usual, I headed into the bathroom and changed into workout gear.
I longed to reach for the cell in the toilet tank, but I didn’t.
That would break my routine.
After forty minutes of yoga, sweaty and in need of a shower, I did as I’d been longing to since his initial declaration.
Once the bathroom door was locked behind me, I took off the lid to the toilet and found the Ziploc bag in there which housed the cell phone Padraig had given me all those years ago.
