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Despite my tears, I laugh. “That’s what my dad says.”
“Your dad is right.”
It shouldn’t, but their defense makes me feel foolishly warm and fuzzy inside. Other than my family, no one stood up for me after my split with Derrick. Even a bunch of my friends took his side, believing his story that, because I worked long hours, I never put him first. It’s so comforting to feel as if I have allies, even if they’re just saying what they think I want to hear.
“You’ve cut off all contact with your ex?” Marcus demands more than he asks.
I nod. “I’ve blocked him everywhere.”
“Good.”
Josh cradles my face in his palm and presses a soft kiss to my forehead, then my lips. “We don’t like the idea that he could hurt you again.”
“He’s moved on. I hear he’s engaged now.” And the fact I didn’t break down in sobbing tears—or feel any upset at all when I heard the news—told me that I was blessedly over him. That’s when I realized that I wanted to restart my life with a clean slate. Just go somewhere new so I could focus on rebuilding myself and a future I could be proud of.
“Whoever she is, I hope she rips out his fucking heart.” Marcus snorts.
“He deserves it,” Josh grouses, then turns back to me. “Are you all right?”
The fact they care—that they would even ask—makes my heart do some foolish fluttery thing that worries me. “Better now. Sorry I got emotional.”
“Don’t be,” Josh insists. “We want you to share your feelings. We’re here for you.”
My reflex is doubt, but they haven’t earned that. Everything they’ve done so far has been supportive, kind…and mind-blowingly pleasurable. It’s my own past that makes me wary. “Before I met you two, I had this preconceived notion of who you were.” I tell them about the break room conversation I overheard my very first day at Force Financial. “After that, I assumed you were manwhores who just enjoyed sharing their toys.”
“You’re not a toy,” Josh says with a reproving tone. “So don’t think that.”
“Ever,” Marcus snaps, then sends his friend a glance heavy with annoyance. “And we’ll deal with the office gossips.”
Josh’s face hardens. “You bet we will. I already have ideas.”
Marcus’s smile is determined. “Same.” He turns back to me. “Thank you for telling us. Derrick the Dick divorced you—and left you with the student debt, I presume?”
I nod. “If I had fought him, he would have made everything so much worse.”
He clenches his jaw. “So you let him fuck you one final time? Figuratively, of course.”
I hate it, but… “Yes. Derrick has a vindictive streak. When he thinks he’s being disrespected, he’s vicious. By then, I’d stopped being an idealistic girl and started seeing him for who he really was. And I let him go.”
“What made you finally do that?”
“I realized that every part of my life he touched, pain followed. He reinforced my decision when, during the divorce, he told my dad he was leaving the company—and then he sweet-talked seventy percent of our clients into coming with him to the new firm he started under our noses. Since then, business is down, and Dad has talked about retiring.” I let out a shaky sigh. “I always pictured taking over for him someday. That was my dream. He says slowing down will be good for him, but is that really what he wants? I don’t know.”
Marcus curses under his breath, looking somewhere between furious and vengeful. I love the idea of him being my dark, avenging beast. But that’s another girlish fantasy I can’t afford. Just like believing that Josh is a perfect cross between Prince Charming and Mr. Darcy. They’re simply hot coworkers with whom I can explore my post-Derrick sexuality. Tonight doesn’t mean anything more to them than a temporary thrill. They’re enjoying their kink of choice with me in paradise. A win-win fling…not the beginning of anything lasting. I can’t lose sight of that.
“I’m sorry,” Josh says in all sincerity.
I shake my head. “He claims he wants to slow down, travel some with Mom. Maybe he does since he’s the one who convinced me to come to work for Force Financial. But my guilt keeps me trying to convince him to stick it out.”
“Your guilt?” Marcus asks sharply.
“If I hadn’t said yes to Derrick—to the junior prom, to marrying him, to letting him into our family business—none of this would have happened.”
“It’s not your fault he’s a douchebag,” Josh insists. “And I doubt your father blames you.”
“He doesn’t. I didn’t bring about the ruination of Dad’s business on purpose, but we’re talking about his life’s work, so that doesn’t make me feel any better.”
“Let us do that, then,” Josh suggests.
