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“Exactly.” The confusion on her face tells me she still doesn’t understand why Marcus and I are hurt.
From her perspective, maybe she’s lost because we never told her we’re having more than a fling. We certainly never hinted we’re in love with her.
“Are you going to accept your dad’s offer?” There’s no use in fighting if she’s just going to return to Phoenix.
“I don’t know. I’m still weighing the pros and cons.”
“What would make you stay?”
She raises a brow. “Why did you both storm out last night?”
Impasse. One of us has to find the guts to expose our truth and be vulnerable. I really don’t want to put my heart on the chopping block again, but before I burn this bridge, I need to know if I’ve read the situation right. I have to make sure she never intended to do anything more with us than fuck.
“Winter before last, Marcus and I shared a girlfriend. Her name was Taylor.”
“The woman from the bar the secretary on my floor has pictures of you with?”
I nod, remembering that night. We were finally going to meet some of her friends. After weeks of seeing her mostly in dark bedrooms, Marcus and I were relieved that Taylor was proving we weren’t just a booty call, like she swore. We were seeing a bright future. But all of her friends supposedly flaked and ghosted her. She acted appropriately upset and apologized with her lips parted and her legs spread. It was all a lie. “I met her first. We dated for a couple of weeks. It seemed promising. The sex was good.”
“Josh, I don’t—”
“But when I introduced her to Marcus, sparks flew all around. The three of us were inseparable for months. We were in love with her.”
“I see.” Kate looks taken aback. “What happened?”
“Just before Christmas, we proposed. She refused. Marcus and I weren’t the same for a long time.”
She blanches. “I didn’t realize I was a substitute for—”
“You’renot,” I grit out between my teeth. “When Taylor turned us down, she laughed. She told us that she never intended for us to be more than a fling and we were crazy because most women would never openly settle down with two men. They wouldn’t want society or their loved ones forever judging them.” I shake my head bitterly. “Two weeks ago, I bumped into her. She’s happily engaged to another man. Just one.”
“I’m sure that hurts. I’m sorry.” She swallows. “I wish you two had told me before we got involved that you’re still pining for someone else—”
“Goddamn it, you’re not listening!” I rarely raise my voice, but I can’t seem to help myself now. “We don’t love Taylor anymore, but since the breakup Marcus has been convinced she was right. He refused to share another woman with me…until you. Despite our better judgment, we both fell in love with you. We were desperate to believe you were different. Last night proved you’re not.”
She gapes at me. “Because I didn’t introduce you to my dad and my sister as my lovers? That’s not fair. I—”
“Because you apparently talk to your sister more than anyone and she had no clue we were more than your coworkers.” Seeing the guilty truth cross her face nearly implodes my chest. I’m barely clinging to my restraint, so I pick up my laptop and abandon my cup of coffee. “Marcus and I didn’t sign up to be your post-divorce booty call. Next time you’re looking for someone to fuck, don’t contact us.”
I’m out the door in seconds, eyes closed, willing myself not to turn back and ask her why she can’t love us in return or endure the occasional judgmental asshole for a lifetime of devotion from two men who would give her their whole hearts and futures. It seems like a small price…but she’s not any more willing to pay it than Taylor.
It’s a bitter pill to know Marcus and I will probably never get over Kate. And we’ll probably never be truly happy again.
* * *
Marcus
After an hour at the gym, sweat drips down my face and chest as I let myself into our hotel room. Instantly, the bed Josh and I took Kate in together confronts me. I look away. If I don’t, all I’ll think about are the blissful nights she lay between us, writhing and pleading and open, her face soft with pleasure and something I hoped was love.
I was a stupid fucking schmuck.
Despite the fact we’re only in Hilo for two more nights, I make a mental note to call the front desk and demand a new room. There are too many memories in this one. If I stay, I’ll be tempted to try some hail-Mary bullshit, like beg Kate to come back to Josh and me and pretend she loves us, too.
It’s desperate. Hopeless. Self-destructive.
Two more steps into the room, and I stop short at the sight of Mariah in the corner, bending over Kate’s suitcase. As the door slams shut behind me, she whirls and presses a hand to her chest as if I’ve startled her.
When she catches sight of my naked torso, she whips her gaze away. “I’m sorry to intrude. Kate and I thought you would be in the office. She asked me to gather her suitcase.”
