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“He’s lying,” Michelle speaks up, eyes flashing. “He told me he loved me.”
I don’t even think. I launch the tomato and get Chris right between the eyes with a messy plop, the tomato splattering everywhere. The pillow drops to the floor again.
“You asshole!” I yelp.
I whirl around and pick up the top slice of toasted bread and wing at him like a frisbee. It hits him squarely on his junk and he goes down to his knees on the linoleum with an oof. I used to play disc golf on my parents’ apple orchard growing up, and apparently my aim is as good as ever.
“Daisy!” Michelle cries out, as if I’m the one with the problem, and then I’m reaching for the remainder of the sandwich.
I pelt it at her. The slice of turkey flies ahead of the sandwich layers with swift velocity and slaps her on the cheek with a satisfying thwack, while the other pieces of mayo-soaked bread and juicy tomato slices explode over the bedroom.
“Get out!” I scream at the both of them. “Now!” I threaten with the butter knife again. “I’m not done throwing things.”
Michelle swipes at the cold cut that just bitch-slapped her, and runs to the opposite side of the bed where she yanks on her jeans and sweater. She quickly sidles past me, avoiding eye contact. I’m not a violent person, but it really takes everything in me to not open the fridge and find what other food I can whip at her.
While she’s shoving on her boots at the front door, I turn to Chris who is getting back to his feet, wincing.
“There’s a lot more where that came from,” I warn him as she slams the front door.
He groans, reaching for the pillow again, as if he’s suddenly bashful. “Please, just…hear me out.”
My eyes widen. “What the hell could you possibly say? Chris, I just caught you screwing my friend!”
“It’s not what she said. I don’t love her. I love you…I just got…I got confused.”
“Confused?” I repeat, my voice beyond shrill. “Confused?”
He winces dramatically again, putting his hand to his ear. “Can you stop being so hysterical? You’re hurting my ears.”
“Maybe I’ll slice your ear off like in Reservoir Dogs. That should fix the problem,” I sneer at him, waving the knife again. “It won’t be easy with this thing, but believe me, I could make it work. Would leave some pretty nasty scars.”
He glares at me. “You know, you haven’t been easy to be around since you lost your job.”
Oh my god.
He isn’t…
He isn’t suggesting this is my fault??
He must read the look on my face because a rush of fear goes across his brow, and he quickly says, “It isn’t your fault. I’m not saying that. I know you’ve never been laid off before, I know you’ve worked for that company forever, I know it’s hit you hard. You’re just…not your sunny self.”
I can only stare at him, mouth agape. My emotions are zipping from outrage to frustration, and when I get frustrated I tend to cry.
“Excuse me for not always being my sunny self,” I tell him. “And, by the way, I think I’ve handled the layoff extremely well. You don’t see me moping about and focusing on the negative, and you don’t see me sleeping with other people’s boyfriends.”
He stares blankly at me.
“Michelle was laid off, too!” I yell at him. “And screw you for even bringing any of that shit up. That makes you an even worse person for cheating on me when I’m already down on the ground.”
He laughs dryly and I want to deck him right in the nose. “Down on the ground? In the two years we’ve been together, you’ve never been down on the ground. You’ve never even faltered. Everything just seems to fall in your lap.”
I bristle. He’s not the first person to say that. “Well things are falling out of my lap now, aren’t they? First I lose my job, next I lose my boyfriend.”
Oh, now he’s looking sad. “Daisy…this isn’t over…”
“That’s bullshit and you know it. It’s over. And it’s probably been over for a long time, hasn’t it? Even before I lost my job. You’ve been pulling away. I didn’t want to see it, didn’t want to admit that was happening, but it’s true, isn’t it? It’s like you wanted to get caught.”
Chris looks away and absently wipes a tomato seed off his face. I’d laugh if I didn’t feel so broken inside. “Maybe I was pulling away to see if you’d pull me back in. Maybe I wanted to see just how much you cared about me.” He looks at me, and now he looks more like the man I fell in love with, even though I know he’ll never be that person to me again. “I stepped back but you never came forward.”
