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She’s still breathing.
The relief is short-lived. As I cradle her body, willing her to survive, the dark, icy truth settles around me again.
I did this. I drove her to this.
I’m the monster. And there can be no forgiveness for my sins.
4
AVERY
When I wake,I know I’m not in my room at Larkspur before I’ve even opened my eyes. The bed I’m in is comfortable, luxurious even after the stiff board I’ve been sleeping on in that place.
Lifting my head, I groggily take in my new surroundings. I’m wearing silk pajamas now, and they feel good against my skin. The bed I’m in is at least queen-sized, made with the softest linens. The furnishing is soft, with pretty artwork on the walls, and even a flat-screen TV in the corner. This place looks like a hotel room, but there’s medical equipment next to the bed, and tubes in my arm hooked up to a gently beeping monitor.
My arm…
I sit up slowly, and my head spins. Taking a deep breath, I wait for it to pass before looking down at my wrists. They’re both bandaged, and as I flex my fingers, there’s a dull ache from my wounds.
It worked.
I feel a flash of relief—and victory. I got out of that place, alive.
Thank God.
The door of the room opens, and a woman walks in with a tray of food in her hands. She’s wearing spotless white scrubs and a warm smile.
“Ah, good. I was hoping you’d wake up soon. The doctor said you could at any time.”
“W-what?” My mouth is dry, and my brain seems to be moving slowly as I watch the woman place the tray of food on a table beside me. It smells delicious and when she removes the lid, I see that it’s fresh vegetables and a chicken pot pie. Much better than the limp cafeteria food I’ve been fed lately.
“I’m your nurse, dear. I know you must be confused. You’ve been unconscious for a day, and you lost some blood, so your mind might be a little muddled. Here,” she pours a glass of water from the crystal carafe by the bed, and leans over, bringing it gently to my lips so I can take a sip.
I swallow, feeling better. “How much blood?” I venture.
The nurse checks my bandages, then starts to fiddle with the monitor I’m hooked up to that’s displaying my vitals. “You needed a transfusion, but you got lucky. The cuts weren’t deep. You’ll be fine.”
I exhale, as she leaves the room.
She’s right; I am lucky. I had no way of knowing how deep I was cutting, I just had to make to make sure that it looked convincing. I had to get myself out of that place.
I feel my stomach rumble, so I don’t waste time digging in, knowing that I’ll need my strength to recover. The food is great, and I devour it in no time at all. The plate is almost clean when a knock sounds at my door.
“Uh, come in,” I call out, adjusting to having the choice of saying ‘yes’ or ‘no’. In Larkspur, they just walked in whenever they wanted.
Sebastian walks in.
I take a deep breath, absorbing the sight of him, impeccably tailored as always in a grey suit, his dark hair looking surprisingly disheveled around his face. Despite everything, I feel an ache in my chest, the muscle memory of attraction already branded deep in my bones.
I fight it. I’d hoped that I would have a little more time before I had to face him, but of course he isn’t going to give me that.
Sebastian closes the door behind him and stands there for a long moment, just looking at me. He looks more somber than I’ve ever seen him before, and it makes him seem older.
I take a slow sip of water. I can already sense the balance of power between us is once again delicate, and I don’t want to overplay my hand. I definitely won’t be the one to speak first.
Finally, he turns and paces over to the window. He looks out for a long moment, and I watch him, wondering what’s to come. More threats? Another demand for the truth?
Will he see through my ruse, or does he believe that I tried to hurt myself, for real?
