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Sebastian Wolfe has no idea who he’s fucking with.
So, I’ve been playing the model patient for them—and it’s paid off. They’ve finally started to mix up my routine, letting me spend ‘social time’ time outside in the facility’s garden in the afternoons. It’s nicer than I expected, with pretty shrubs and flowers, and sure, there’s a tall metal fence with barbed wire at the top surrounding the space, which makes it considerably less welcoming, but at least they have wooden benches to relax on, and freshly cut grass, which makes a nice change from the smell of antiseptic and despair lingering indoors.
Look at me, seeing the positive in every situation. The thought makes me want to laugh and cry at the same time.
“Avery?”
I turn to see Dr. Reed approaching me. There are several others working here, so I haven’t even seen him since the first day I arrived. He has a small smile on his face, the embodiment of friendliness. He wants me to trust him.
And I’m pretty sure there’s a syringe in his pocket with my name on it if I don’t do what he wants.
I force a soft smile as he approaches.Behave.
“How are you feeling today?” the doctor reaches me.
“Just fine,” I tell him. “A little better. It’s a lovely day.”
“I’m glad to hear that. You missed your lunchtime meds,” he says, pulling a capsule of pills out of his pocket. I eye them warily. They won’t even tell me what they even are, they just tell me to take them every day—and hold me down to forcefully feed them if I dare disagree.
But now, of course, I’m the perfect patient.
“I’m sorry,” I say immediately, and hold my hand out. “I must have forgotten.”
“Well, it’s a good thing we’re here to remember for you.” Dr. Reed smarms. “Medication is a crucial part of your recovery. When your brain chemistry is out of balance, it makes it so much harder to be yourself.”
He hands me the pill case, and a small bottle of water.
I nod, looking sincere. “I just want to get back to normal,” I tell him.
I take two pills from the case and put them into my mouth. I’m being watched closely, so I have no choice.
But I’m a woman of many talents, and deception is right at the top of that list. I pretend to have trouble opening the bottle of water, and it’s easy for him to believe I’m too weak to manage it. When he does it for me, I use his split second of distraction to move the pills under my tongue without him noticing.
Once I’ve taken a sip of water, and swallowed, Dr. Reed gives a pleased nod. “Excellent,” he says. “I hope you’ll be well enough to join us in group therapy soon. That’s the next step in your program.”
I nod, too. “I hope so,” I reply. “But I’m feeling pretty tired today.”
“Of course. This is a long road to mental wellbeing, Avery, but it’s great to see you taking the first steps.”
He moves on, to speak with another patient, and I wait until he’s out of sight before discreetly spitting the pills out into my hand and crushing them into the dirt with my heel.
No more drugs. No more sedation. I need to be clear-headed now.
There’s still some time for our garden break, so I take the opportunity to stretch my legs. Being cooped up in that patient room all day is getting to me, and besides, I have another priority for my brief, precious break.
“Jane!” I call, waving to another patient, who’s strolling a slow loop of the grounds.
“Hi Avery,” she gives me a tired smile. She’s in her thirties, the daughter of some snooty aristocratic family who dumped her here after she had a breakdown from her third miscarriage. Apparently, her husband prefers life as an international playboy, spending all her money, rather than, you know, taking care of his beloved. “How are you doing?”
“You know, I could use a cheeseburger,” I quip. “That canteen slop is getting me down.”
She smiles. “What I wouldn’t do for some chocolate…”
I laugh. “Oh, I forgot, I found another stone for your collection.” I pull it from my pocket and hand it over to her.
Jane has been here for six months, and passes the time by collecting all the flat, oval shaped rocks she can find in the garden. There are plenty for her to choose from, but she’s quite particular about the shape of the ones she collects.
I guess we all have to spend the time here somehow.
