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Lily sighs and sets her tea down. She doesn’t speak for a long moment, and I’m on the edge of my seat, waiting for her to get her thoughts together.
“It’s faith,” she answers finally. “Belief in things yet unseen. In the end, Neroearnedmy forgiveness for all the shit he put me through, but even before that…Waybefore that, actually… My heart was his. I couldn’t change it or deny it.” She gives a small shrug. “The damn thing has a mind of its own, apparently, and it wouldn’t have it any other way.”
“That sounds familiar,” I say with a sigh. “It’s like I have a million reasons not to trust him, or want to be with him, but the only thing that matters is… I want him. Not just his body, but all of him. But how can I feel that way, when he’s hurt so many people?”
“I’ve asked myself that question a few times, too,” Lily agrees. “Nero is no saint. But he’s put the mafia world behind him now. He’s gone legit—to keep me safe. That counts for something.”
I nod slowly. Nobody expected the ruthless Nero Barretti to turn his life upside down for love, but he’s done it. He would burn the whole world to the ground, if Lily said she’d like the ashes as a prize.
“Would Sebastian make the same sacrifice for me?” I wonder. “He’s a man who’s spent his life chasing more: more money, more status, more power… Where do I fit into that? Am I another shiny acquisition to him? Or did he mean it when he said he wanted us to build a new future together?”
“Only you can answer that question,” Lily says with regret. “And it’s not just about his choices, either. This is about you, too,” her voice turns into a warning. “You have to be willing to be honest with him. Truly forgive him for everything he’s done. Sebastian… He’s not Nero,” she adds, gravely. “I don’t know if he’s worth it.”
Her words linger with me,even after I say my goodbyes to her and Nero, and leave the hotel. I walk, not paying attention to the tourists and shoppers around me. I’m still lost in thought about the choice I face.
Because Lily was right: This isn’t just about what Sebastian chooses to do with his future, but about me, and whether I can find it in my heart to truly forgive him for everything he’s done. Because I know that if I can’t, if I cling to my resentment and bitterness over Miles, then I’ll just be creating a prison for myself in this relationship. I’ll never escape the past, no matter what else we do.
Do I have that kind of forgiveness in me?
I don’t know. I walk for hours, but I’m no closer to an answer, so I look around to get my bearings, and figure out hailing a cab for home.
I’m beside a newsstand, and my eyes land on a headline, as the owner sets out the afternoon edition.
‘Shipping shock – Dunleavey dead.’
I freeze. “Can I see that?” I blurt, grabbing for a paper.
The man scowls. “Seventy pence,” he insists, and I fumble in my wallet for change before he finally hands one over.
I flip the page, searching out the story. There.
‘Shipping tycoon Alistair Dunleavey was found dead at his home in Essex, after an apparent overdose. Police are investigating whether the death was intentional, as Dunleavey had been reported to have been acting erratically after the hostile takeover of his family firm by Wolfe Capital…’
My stomach lurches, and I’m in danger of losing the tea and cake I just consumed. I feel a cold chill wash over me as I slowly lower the newspaper.
Suicide?
I can’t believe it. Then I remember, Lulu works for this newspaper. I quickly write a text to her.
‘Just saw the news about Alistair Dunleavy. Is it true?’
Her reply comes quickly and it’s short.
Yes, very tragic. He left a note. His wife found him, poor woman.
My knees start to buckle, and I steady myself on a nearby railing. The world is spinning, and in my mind, I’m no longer standing on a street corner in London.
It all comes back in a sickening rush. Just a few months ago, and an ocean away, but it feels like yesterday...
“Miles?”I call, pounding on his door. “Come on, we’ll be late. The movie starts at seven.”
There’s no reply, but when I try the handle, it swings open. Unlocked.
“Miles?” I call again, immediately on my guard. I haven’t heard from Miles all day, but I figured, he was just busy dealing with Nero’s latest legal wrangling.
I reach for the flick knife I keep in my boots, taking a step into the hallway. Even though things have been quiet for the Barrettis after Nero brokered a truce, I’m always alert for danger.
And this feels wrong.
