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“Speaking of, how is our baby sister handling it?”
“You would know if you talked to her, if you met with her like you’re supposed to, to help her with the new role that was just thrown at her.”
I scoff. “You mean the same job that was thrown at me the same way once upon a time? And who was there for me then, besides you?” I shake my head and take a long drink of my bourbon, letting the familiar heat of the alcohol soothe my tense body. “No, I’m sure sweet little Lily has all the help she needs from you and dear old Dad.”
“Look, I know we’re both stuck here for now, but it doesn’t have to be forever. You just have to make an effort, repent for your mistakes, show Dad that you care and I’m sure he’ll give you back your--”
“Enough!” I slam the glass down on the table, shattering it. Ice and bourbon run freely along the table and then drip down the side.
Everyone in the bar is now looking our way, a quiet hush filling the space around us, and an electric excitement of what might happen hangs in the air. Sinful Delights is known for its debauchery and wildness, oftentimes with me at its center. However, I never raise my voice. That alone is cause for curiosity. But amongst the crowd eagerly gawking at us, waiting for something sinfully delightful to happen, I feelhereyes on me. She’s watching me closely, too, but not with the same excitement as the others. Her energy, her intent, is entirely different and it makes me feel unsteady.
I exit the booth and stand, smoothing out my shirt, gaining my composure before I speak. I look down at my brother, who appears to be regretful and adamant at the same time. I know he means well, and out of everyone in our family, he truly is the only one who has ever tried to understand me but even he has failed to do so. I don’t want the same things he wants. I don’t, and won’t, pretend to be someone I’m not in order to be whole again. If this is
the price I’m to pay forever, to be stuck here, then so be it.
“I appreciate your concern, Brother, but it’s unnecessary. Please, stay as long as you like and help yourself to whatever your heart desires. What’s mine is yours.” I dip my chin and turn to leave.
“Peter...,” his voice stops my retreat, “I didn’t mean for us to fight.”
“I know,” I say with my back still facing him, and before he can say anything else, I make my way down the ramp and through the whispering crowd as I head for the private hallway and elevator that leads to my penthouse on the top floor.
I can’t fight the pull of the green eyes watching me, beckoning me to look their way, and so, I do. I lock eyes with her as I make my way to the hallway on the side of the bar. What I see in her eyes is almost enough to stop me in my tracks.Almost.
Concern.
Desire.
Both emotions so intense I can feel them in my bones. I can see the effort it’s taking her to not get off her stool and come to me, but whatever she sees on my face keeps her seated.
Smart girl.
Because I don’t know what I’d do to her if she came to me now. I’m in no fucking mood to play nice withanyone. Especially her. Not when she reminds me of a whole other time and place. Not when she reminds me of everything I’ve lost. And as much as I hate the reminder, as much as I hate the memory of the past, the last thing I want to do is hurt her.
And that fucking pisses me off even more.
Dee
…Ready For It by Taylor Swift
Night four. No sign of him.
Night five. No sign of him.
Night six. No sign of him.
Night seven…to be determined.
I’m beginning to feelrealcrazy. Like I’m a damn stalker. Like a fucking escaped mental patient. Like I’m spiraling out of control. Was he even real? Did I imagine him? Was he another one of my dreams? I mean, hell, I’m so out of it even when I’m awake, so sleep deprived, it wouldn’t shock me at this point to realize I made him up. Imagined him. Fucking daydreaming wide awake.
Tonight is my absolute last attempt. If he isn’t here, then I’m moving on. He was either never real or never meant to be more than a guy who saved me one time. As much as at the latter seems to be true, I can’t help the nagging feeling at the back of my mind telling me I’m wrong. There’s more to him.
There’s more tous.
I’m throwing all caution to the wind. Zero fucks. Because this is my Hail Mary. This is my last chance. My last wild throw down the field hoping that he’ll be there to catch it.
To catch me.
I saunter into the bar, completely familiar and comfortable with the look and vibe now. My eyes immediately go to the booth that’s been empty for the last three nights, tonight seems to be no different. He hasn’t been seen since the night he argued with the man in the booth, his brother, according to the grumble I got out of Tink.
