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I didn’t think I was making much sense anymore, but maybe it didn’t matter because this man was an illusion. This could be a side effect after not tapping into this cynical side for far too long. After the daily nights of torture, suddenly having none must be the reason for my sudden delusional state of mind after going on an earned killing spree.
“You will OBEY ME!”he screamed.“You’re my pet! My trophy. My bitch who will take my seed and deliver me an heir! You will be the death of Malifer! I’ll make sure of it.”
“Malifer. Malifer. There are many Malifers,” I voiced as if the name itself made my thought process malfunction. “Alpha Malifer. King Malifer. My possessive mate Malifer. Dark Lord Malifer. Mafia Malifer. Master Malifer.”
I giggled at the last part as if imagining the man in question as my master in comparison to the old man before me could be possible.
“There’s Demon Malifer. Evil and more powerful than you. Will he become my new master? I should ask him!” I gleefully suggested though I didn’t know how as I moved from side to side, my steps uncoordinated like I was completely drunk. “My Malifer. Sweet Malifer! Demon possessive cocky fucker of a Malifer! Look who’s here?!”
I dramatically gestured to the man feet away from me, my eyes beginning to droop as though my body itself couldn’t bare to be conscious for much longer.
“It’s Daddy Dearest. The man who tortured me every night for years. Your Papa who can’t whip me. He can’t torture me. Where’s my pain? Where’s my agony?!” I thought I’d lose my mind if I didn’t stick to the routine. The itching need to feel pain was growing so tempting that Ireached for my bandaged neck. “You can’t be my master. No, no, no. I need a new one who can attend to my needs. Needs for pain. Fix this itch. Bring me the agony and the pleasure! You're a delusion. A hallucination. A fake!”
I worked quickly to remove the bandages, spinning around as if it would aid me in my new conquest even though it made me feel dizzy and even more unbalanced.
I needed this hallucination to end so I could return to my senses and face the reality I left behind. That needed pain. For me to feel the agony from the wounds this man dared to leave behind on my precious flesh.
The last string of bandages left my flesh, exposing the raw surface that made me shiver from the chilled atmosphere that graced its fragile state. My hands twitched so hard I thought that maybe I was dealing with a withdrawal of some kind, but my fingertips burned to scrape at my flesh.
To invite the stinging spikes of pain and the oozing flow of blood that would rid me of this hallucination and deliver me the wave of relief I yearned for.
“STOP THIS, LEXIANNE!” he demanded with all his strength, but I was too far gone in my imaginary objective — the need to hurt myself was too strong for me to ignore. He didn’t care about me. Didn’t care about my pain and suffering. He was the ruler of it.
He was the creator of all my woes as I wished for a world where I was happy with my destined mate. All the years of purity. All the hours of faking my identity. I lived a life that never minded proclaiming, and in the depths of the night, I screamed my voice away as I protected the man I knew couldn’t be my knight in shining armor.
I had to save him from his worst enemy.
Surprisingly enough, it wasn’t even himself…
“Disappear,” I pleaded as my eyes pooled with tears, my fingertips inches from my neck. “Until my mate can finally get rid of your existence.”
“That coward would NEVER save you!” he screamed so loud, I actually paused in execution to stare at him as he shook with so much rage. “A weak bastard of a son! A mistake with my pack! I asked Mother Moon to give me a ruthless Alpha to carry the Shade legacy and what did I get? A kind Alpha?”
He stomped his foot, and I realized that despite his intention to move that flickered in his eyes, he couldn’t take a single step.
“A disgrace from day one! A boy who’d never rise to the foundation I worked diligently to protect! And yet here you are. Protecting him! Again and again. What a fucking delusional cunt you are!” he screamed. “You want pain? I’ll squeeze that little throat of yours until it snaps! I’ll force your heart to stop, fuck you senseless, and throw you in a fucking machine until you give birth to my heir. I’ll make him witness it all, and when I get what I desire, I’ll fuck your dead body before him before I blow your fucking brains out!”
It was so gruesome and horrifying that I needed a moment to really think it through.
“That…” I began and beamed. “Is brilliant. A shame you can’t do it now.”
His face was red as he shook violently, but my objective returned as I readied myself to dig my own fingertips into my flesh.
“You don’t hate him because of all that bullshit,” I dared to whisper and watched the way his irises grew in size. “You despise that no matter what you do to me, you can never retrieve my loyalty. You’ll never be loved by me. Your son you deem useless and unworthy of my salvation has earned a spot in my heart while there’s not even a speck of space for you in it. You think he’s a worthless king, but my Malifer was carved just for me.”
I allowed myself to smile as tears ran down my cheeks and manage to roll down my jaw and into my open wound. The droplet of salt gave me my first pinch of pain, and it made the walls surrounding us begin to crack with a single line on each side.
“You can’t take the one thing that’s most precious to him. What’s marked by Mother Moon for himself as his and his alone. It grinds your gears. It drives you mad. And even his death didn’t deliver the results you imagined in your mind again and again,” I hummed. “Disappointment after disappointment, revolving around the one being you claim is your true rival, and no matter how hard your prodigy of a half-son aims to please you, it’ll never be enough to truly satisfy you, for the one thing you want will always be out of your grasp.”
I gave him my biggest smile.
“Me.”
He couldn’t say a word as more cracks began to filter through the dark space, and that only intensified as his eyes widened to saucers as he stared at me. It wasn’t the approaching burst of reality that made me freeze in place suddenly, but the gentle press of a chilled body behind me that gave me enough strength to simply lift my head up and back to reveal who dared to stand in my personal radius.
One look into the orbs of glowing purple matched with the frigid ebony that illuminated so perfectly thanks to all those intricate markings along his flesh confirmed that I was looking into the demonic entity of the man we’d just been discussing.
And he pulsed with anger while looking down at me with overwhelming admiration.
