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“It’s not a bad thing to go with your gut, but I don’t know how to help you when we’re gaining more and more access to the Sparrows’ operations and we’ve come across nada about that.”
“Guess this is a good time to tell you I’ve had the Sinners put out feelers, then?”
“Why didn’t you tell me before?” he grumbled.
“Because I sound crazy. Reinier’s making me paranoid and I hate that.”
“You’ve been hiding it.”
“Not particularly.” This time, I sucked in a breath. “Regardless, you know I’ve been slipping into the department’s files, making sure they’re staying on track, reading their reports, and, so far, all the red notices are achieving what I hoped they would. But you’re right—nothing on organ trafficking.”
His gaze narrowed upon me. “You’re saying good things but your vibe is off.”
“I feel like that. I’ve been anxious since that last meeting with Rachel,” I admitted, threading my fingers together and toying with them.
“You should have said something,” he groused. “Why didn’t—” His gaze cut to the left at the sound of yet another fight between Ren and Stimpy, who snarled at each other like they weren’t cat and cat but cat and dog. As Stimpy careered into the room, Ren chasing him, he sighed. “Cats are a lot easier to deal with when they’re made of glitter.”
I couldn’t disagree.
Even if I thought that glittery cat statue of his was weird as fuck.
His hand snagged mine, putting a stop to my fidgeting, as he asked, “Why didn’t you say you were feeling anxious?”
“Because…” Swallowing, I peered at him. “It’s not just anxiety. I’m scared.”
His lips parted, then he spluttered, “Of what? Me?”
“Of your reaction,” I mumbled, staring down at our joined hands. “I-I was dismissive at first but then it’s built up in my head.”
“Then you’d better hit me with it. Da always told us that confession was good for the soul,” he said dryly.
Having never felt the need to confess before, I didn’t know.
I sure as fuck didn’t know where to start—that was why I’d taken ages to bring this to his attention in the first place.
“Last year, I did a job for the Valentinis.”
His head tilted to the side. “I remember. They gave you a laptop from that rapist asshole and that’s how we found out where Liam and that Triad kid were being held by their kidnappers.”
“Yeah.” I cleared my throat. “That’s right.”
His gaze was expectant. “And?”
“There was a list on there—”
“That’s how you got insight into some Sparrows’ bank accounts, right? I don’t remember what you were hunting for, just that that was the outcome,” he said drolly.
“I’m a bad person.”
He blinked. “I’m not a good one.”
“No, but you’d never do something like this. I knew it was a horrible thing to do. There’s no redeeming—”
“Is this about our atonement deal? Because you’re doing a great job,” he encouraged, and it was so positive, his expression was so proud as he tried to egg me on to speak, that it made me sick to my stomach.
“Back when we’re talking, things were different. Not as hopeful. We were still looking for a way to bring the Sparrows down.
“That’s why I needed to do it. It was an act born of desperation, but I’d have followed through with it if Rachel hadn’t put a stop to it.”
