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“Nah. My past isn’t your past, and we both know what I’d do to the people who wronged me.” I showed her my teeth. “Lena would be dead and buried if she’d mowed down my mom. Whatever you’re doing right now, is a lot healthier than what I’d do—”
“And more legal,” Savannah muttered.
“—so whatever you decide to do is what you decide to do. You can want Sunday dinners and family time while barely acknowledging her.”
“Wouldn’t that be awkward?” she mumbled.
I grinned. “For who? You? Nah. Her? Sure.”
Her eyes caught on mine then the words came out in a rush. “I miss her too.”
“You do?” I grimaced. “What’s to miss?”
Aoife swallowed. “She became like a second mom to me.”
“That’s just creepy.”
Savannah nudged me to shut up.
“What? It is! Talk about a weird way to alleviate her own guilt.” I shuddered. “And people say I’m a fucking mess. Anyway, no one can tell you what’s right or wrong for you is what I’m saying.
“In my relationship,” I admitted, “I’m the Finn and Conor is the Aoife.”
“What?” Savannah spluttered around a laugh.
“It’s true. I’ve done some unforgivable shit. Folks might think I don’t deserve him, but the only option open to me is to do whatever I can to be worthy of him.” I sucked in a breath. “It’s hard and I can empathize with Finn because trying to make amends isn’t easy, but that’s how it should be.
“Have you decided on what Finn can do to atone?”
Aoife frowned. “No?”
I didn’t think she meant for it to be a question, but it came out that way.
“Why not?”
“You have, Aoife. You wanted him to cut ties with Lena,” Inessa prompted.
“Yeah, but that’s not enough, is it? That’s a knee-jerk reaction,” I argued. “Atonement is proactive. Now, a couple months ago, I didn’t believe in this atonement shit, but Conor’s made me see the error of my ways.”
“You’re growing up,” Savannah said with a fake sniffle.
I gave her the side-eye then returned my focus to Aoife. “He could have made me suffer and be miserable, but he didn’t.”
“What did he ask of you?” Aela queried, her tone cautious.
“I tend to think I can only do things myself,” I admitted gruffly. “That I’m a team of one. He wanted me to change the way I think. He wanted me to include him. That was what he needed from me and I’ve done that. Do I fuck up? Sure. But did I open up to him too? Yes.”
“Our relationship is different though,” Aoife argued.
“Duh,” I retorted. “But what do you want from him?”
A silence as powerful as a loaded gun slipped between us as the others waited with bated breath for Aoife to answer.
Eventually, when the sound of a pin dropping would have been as loud as an atomic bomb blast, she whispered, “To be his priority. Always. Above his family. Always. To take my side. No matter what. Over everyone and anyone, including his brothers.”
“I-I think he does that now, doesn’t he?” Inessa queried. “After everything, I mean?”
“Yes,” she said softly, her eyes locking on mine though, not Inessa’s. “He does.”
