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“Together,” he said with no small amount of satisfaction.
“Together,” I repeated before I bolstered myself and studied Anton’s still form. “You turned off the alarms?”
“I did.” He sighed. “You know, when Da died, it was surreal to think this powerhouse, whether it was for good or bad, was gone. All that insanity housed within a skin suit.”
I coughed out a hoarse laugh. “That’s one way of thinking about it.”
“You can mourn what should have been,” he whispered in my ear.
“Do you?”
“No matter what I thought of Da, there was no denying that I never could have told him about Father McKenna. He’d never have believed me. Not back then. I don’t think he’d have believed me now. He betrayed me a long time ago in that sense. Didn’t mean I didn’t love him.”
“I don’t love Anton,” I croaked.
“Maybe you loved the idea of him. He was your grandfather.”
“He made Hitler look warm and cuddly, Conor.” I tipped up my chin. “I spent ninety-nine percent of my life without a grandfather. I’ll survive. Anyway, I’m ready.”
Though he nodded, I heard him sigh again.
Together, we left Anton’s bedside and moved over to the workstation he’d set up.
Within the same mall that they’d used as a hospital black site for Dagda, it was impossible to tell if it was day or night. Only when I saw the monitor did I realize how long we’d been here.
“I’m lucky you spoil me,” I said flatly.
“Spoil you?”
I peered at him. “Black site hospitals for dying men don’t come cheap.”
“It was cheap at the price. Closure is expensive.”
That had me swallowing. “I wish you’d gotten that.”
“Me too.”
“I wish I hadn’t hurt you.”
“Me too,” he repeated. “But there’s going to be a long time between now and us being worm food, and the truth is, Star, no one on this planet can make me happy like you can. You’re as unique as the entity you’re named after.
“The things you’ve done aren’t ideal, much as there are things I’ve done that aren’t ideal either, but we see past that. You are who I love. Who I want to be with. Who I want by my side. That’s more than enough—it’s fucking everything.”
His words had a small shiver rushing down my spine. “I used to have a mantra.”
“‘I will not bend. I will not break,’” he quoted back at me. “I know. You whisper it in your sleep.”
“I do?”
“Uh huh. You don’t have any secrets from me, Star,” he teased.
“I’m glad,” I told him, meaning it. “I-I think it’s time for a new one though.”
“Hmm?” The look he shot me was quizzical. “A new mantra?”
“Teamwork makes the dream work.”
His laughter had me hiding a smile. “I like that one.”
