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When he squeezed me there, pulsing his fingers twice, gently, I slipped my hand over his, a welter of gratitude filling me.
He was too generous with himself. Too kind and loving with those he considered his own.
I’d let him down so badly, his family, the only people who mattered to him, too, and…
I gritted my teeth.
I couldn’t control the past. I couldn’t change it. But I could make a difference going forward.
I’d be the best ‘insert label’ that Conor could ever have.
Unaware of my thoughts, mistaking my internal tension and assuming it revolved around the situation with my mother, he murmured, “Dagda might have nothing to add to the narrative you’ve got in your head, but it’s better to know, isn’t it?”
That was the thing—the ‘narrative’ I had on my mother’s death was riddled with plot holes.
I guessed it was time to fill in the gaps.
17
CONOR
After dropping Troy off at the brownstone next to Finn and Aoife’s place, we headed inside to ask Finn to loop us in on updates about Dagda.
Aoife had brownies fresh out of the oven so, of course, we had to eat those after she offered us the guest shower to clean up thanks to the grimy work of a makeshift undertaker.
With me borrowing some of Finn’s sweats and a hoodie and Star doing the same with Aoife’s clothes, we left our gear with my brother so he could see to them being incinerated.
Afterward, we talked about Dagda’s current status, ate some of their leftovers too, and it was while we were eating that Star received a text that immediately soured her mood.
She didn’t exactly turn sullen, just went quiet.
Knowing how private she was, I didn’t push the conversation but wound things with my brother and sister down and got us out of there.
After she settled in the passenger seat and I was backing up the tank of a car that felt and maneuvered like it weighed a thousand tons, I asked, “Who texted you?”
I half expected her not to answer, but she mumbled, “Reggie.”
Concern hit me because I knew her ex-CO was currently on guard duty. “Is Minerva hurt?”
“No. Not aside from being heartbroken.” She pinched the bridge of her nose. “The funeral’s on Tuesday.”
I whistled under my breath. “That’s fast.”
“That’s the Four Horsemen for you. They look after their people. Reggie just told me she was asked to stand down. That the Four will be watching over her from now on.” She heaved a sigh. “I want to attend.”
“Then we’ll attend,” I replied, even as I tried to catalog what I knew of the Four Horsemen.
“You don’t think it’s a bad idea?”
“Probably, but you want to see her off, don’t you? Say goodbye?
“We don’t have to stand at the front, Star. We can be at the back. It’s not about making waves but saying goodbye to a person who supported you when you were in trouble.”
“Minnie won’t see it that way.”
“Then she won’t see it that way. She’ll curse at you and shout, and maybe that’s what she needs to feel better. I think you can handle an argument.”
She snorted. “Maybe.”
