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With over sixty million hits on TikTok, never mind the originalWe Cream for Ice Screamblog, which took the internet by storm, Aoife O’Grady is officially synonymous withdelicious.
TEXT CHAT
James: Not sure how I feel about the Italians attending the wedding today.
Regan: Not sure you have a fucking choice lol.
James: Ain’t right.
Regan: Don’t let them hear you call them Italians. They’re Sicilians.
James: Don’t give a shit.
Regan: Nice wedding though, wasn’t it? That broad, Savannah, might be a psycho but she’s hot.
James: And Aidan Jr. ain’t? Both nutcases.
Regan: Long live the Five Points, eh?
James: Long live something seeing as the world is coming to an end. Watching Senior shaking hands with the new Don fucked me up.
Regan: Get over it. New times in NYC. New factions. Fewer deaths.
James: True.
Regan: Ain’t all bad.
FIRST LADY MURDERED
New York ison lockdown after an unthinkable strike against our democracy.
While visiting Green-Wood Cemetery in Brooklyn, our First Lady was struck down by an unknown assailant.
We’ve yet to hear from the White House about this tragic death but insiders are saying the president will not be making a speech about his wife’s passing—unusual in itself—and that he is asking for privacy for his sons to grieve the loss of their mother. The Secret Service is not commenting on the security breach that led to her assassination.
Turn to page seven for a full review of the life and the accomplishments of the First Lady of the United States.
TEXT CHAT
Lucas: I think I’m losing my mind.
Cade: Why?
Lucas: Paddy O’Donnelly’s alive.
Cade: No way. He died in the nineties!
Lucas: I’m telling you I just saw him.
Cade: Impossible.
Lucas: So you’re saying I am losing my mind, then.
Cade: Ah, fuck. Nothing’s impossible with the O’Donnellys. Maybe he pulled a Lazarus and came back to life.
Lucas: I fucking hope Senior doesn’t get resurrected!
Cade: Nah, he’s in the pits of hell.
