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Gaping at him, I rasped, “What the hell are you talking about?”
He sniffed. “I grew up on comic books, Star. You think I don’t like a woman who could kill me?”
I had no idea where it bubbled from, but a laugh burst out of me before I could control it.
The second it did, he shot me a dopey grin and flexed his fingers in a silent prompt. I stared at him like the digits were rattlers waiting to bite me but, cautiously, I reached out.
Just as cautiously, he tugged me upward.
No part of me touched him aside from where our hands connected. I stared down as he untangled his grip on me.
“One day at a time, Star.”
“I’m a horrible person,” I confessed.
“Then I have shitty taste in women.”
“I kill people.”
He grimaced. “Can you stop killing my family?”
“You can’t have forgiven me for that.”
“No. I told you. That’s what atonement is for.”
“Does atonement involve sex?”
His grimace morphed into a scowl. “No, of course not. Don’t be ridiculous. Would you forgive me for killing your mother with a quick fuck?”
Thatdidsound ridiculous. Especially considering the lengths I’d gone to to avenge her memory.
The thought sent splinters of pain through me.
How would I ever atone for the things I’d done to him and his family?
Just because I’d thought his father was a sadistic asshole didn’t mean Aidan Sr. wasn’t beloved. I’d known Conor loved him and had still gone through with my plans.
Feeling wretched, I heaved a despondent sigh. “I told you before, Conor, I’m toxic.”
“Maybe I don’t think you are. Maybe I think you hide behind what you consider your toxicity—”
“Do you want to fix me? Is that it?”
“Only women think they can fix their partners.” He had a point. “You can’t change a person, and I don’t see why you’d want to. Why be with them if you think they should change?” His shoulder hitched up into a soft shrug. “So, what, you’re a fucking minefield. Nobody has ever kept up with me apart from you, Star. Nobody. Do you know how goddamn lonely that is?”
It took me longer than it should to whisper, “I do.”
He shot me a knowing look. “Because you've been just as lonely as me. Because no one has ever challenged you. No one can understand you and how your brain works and what you’re capable of. No one—” He pointed a finger at himself. “—but me.
“So, I’ll forgive you eventually because you’ll work for my forgiveness and we’ll deal with this because, where you and I are concerned, we’re all in and there’s no going back. It was already too late the moment you crashed through my code like a bull on a rampage.”
As I stared at him, his words ramming home as nothing else could, and with more of that venomous hope filtering through my bloodstream, a single thought ricocheted around my mind.
He was right.
22
CONOR
