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“I never wanted this for you, Lyla. I didn’t want you to even know this life exists, much less live it. That’s why I never said good-bye. I knew you’d ask why I was leaving, and I couldn’t tell you the truth. Couldn’t promise you anything.”
“I know.” I drink more wine, then pull in a shuddering breath. Dread eats at my insides. “I need to go home, Nick.”
“You can leave whenever you want.”
I can’t look at him yet, but his voice sounds indifferent about it.
“I need a few days. To figure out flights and an apartment and a car—”
“It’s all been taken care of.”
I look at him. Nick looks unruffled, one hand tucked into his pocket as he leans against the wall.
“What?”
“You have a fully furnished apartment waiting for you. It’s two minutes from Leo’s former school. Although if you want to send him to a private school, I’d be happy to pay for it. There’s a car for you in the garage. I think it’s a Volvo. I had Roman do some research on what was safest. And you can take my jet whenever.”
“You…you really didn’t need to do all that.”
He raises one shoulder, then drops it. “It’s done.”
“I-I guess we should leave tomorrow then. There’s no reason to…we should get settled as soon as possible.”
“That’s fine. I’ll let the pilot know. Pack whatever is essential. I’ll have the rest shipped in a few days.”
I nod. “Thank you.”
He’s making this so…easy. Part of me has dreaded this departure for longer than I’d ever admit. Has hated the idea of packing up our lives here and returning to Philadelphia. To have to apartment hunt and find a decent used car and search for a new job.
And it’s all done. A new life waiting for me.
“Also, I think you should go back to school. If you want to.”
A kernel of hope sprouts in my chest. I crush it as quickly as possible. I’m not surprised Nick has realized or guessed I want to get a degree. It would open up my job prospects and allow me to get the credentials to make social work a realistic possibility.
“I’ll pay for it, obviously,” he adds, misreading my hesitation.
I smile, my facial muscles tight and stiff. I once read getting everything you want in the world is the worst thing that could happen to you. At the time, I thought it was some happy sap’s attempt at making the rest of us feel better. Now, I thinkthisis the worst thing that could happen to you: having everything you want in front of you and having to walk away.
“I can’t, Nick.”
A muscle in his jaw jumps, betraying irritation. “Why not?”
“It’s…it’s way too much money.”
“I have plenty of money.”
I half laugh, half sigh. “I know you do.”
“Not all of it is dirty. I have real estate holdings and clubs and—”
“It’s not about how you earned it either,” I tell him. “I mean, yeah, you know it bothers me. But I can’t take that much money from you, Nick. I just…can’t.”
The jump in his jaw turns into a pulse of annoyance. “You’re taking the car and the apartment.”
“ForLeo. It’s how I’ll get him to school and playdates and appointments. And it’s where he’ll live. I know whatever you’ve arranged is better than I could do on my own, and I’m not too proud to admit that. But school…that would be for me. There’s a difference.”
“I haven’t paid child support in eight years. You’ve had to handle everything. It’s not a fucking handout, Lyla.”
