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We sit in a silence that feels far too comfortable, me taking the occasional drink.
Nick breaks it first. “I’m sorry we’re back so late. Something came up on the way home.”
“Something?” There’s more curiosity than panic in my voice, secure in the knowledge they both made it home safely.
“Yeah, something.”
I huff and swirl some wine. “If I asked you what happened tonight, would you tell me?”
“Are you asking if I’d tell you or asking what happened?”
“Both, I guess.” I start tracing the rim of my wineglass with my pointer finger again, running it in endless circles.
“I’m not proud of what I do, Lyla. Not proud of who I am. Don’t confuse that with acceptance.”
“So, you took him with you to do something illegal.”
“I needed to meet a shipment. I had men watching the car.”
Anger is muffled by knowing Leo is asleep upstairs. And probably by the wine spreading warmth through me. But I muster some irritation. “That wasn’t what I agreed to. If you want to spend any more time with him, it will need to be here.”
“Ultimatums, Lyla? Really?”
“Your life isterrifying, Nick. Do I really need to recap what has happened since you showed up?”
“Do you know a kid named Max Howard?” Nick asks abruptly.
“I—what?”
“Max Howard. He went to Leo’s old school.”
“Um, I…Max? Yeah, I think—”
He cuts me off, switching subjects abruptly. “What did you tell Leo about his father?”
“I—I told him it was just the two of us. That he didn’t have one.” I fiddle with the stem of the wineglass, fingering the delicate crystal. “I didn’t know what to tell him. I figured you’d never show up, but I didn’t want to tell him you were dead. And I was trying not to make you look like the bad guy. So…you’re welcome.”
“Max teased him about not having a dad.”
I figured that was the case based on the progression of the questions. “What did you want me to do, Nick? I—”
He interrupts me again. “Leo knows I’m his father.”
That sentence has its intended effect—shocking me into silence.
“He asked me a direct question. I didn’t want to lie to him.”
“You never had an issue with lying before.”
Nick sighs. “What did I lie to you about?”
“You never mentioned any ofthis, for starters!” I wave my arm around at the plush furnishings and high ceilings. “We were together for months, Nick! You could have told me! Something. Anything. If you ever cared about me, you would have. I told you all of my family shit. Stuff I’d never toldanyone.”
Betrayal saturates into that last sentence. If we’d had a simple, surface-level fling in college, I could understand him walking away without a good-bye. But we were more than that, long before I learned Leo would be a permanent connection between us.
“I was trying to protect you.”
I shake my head. “I don’t want this. Any of this! I can’t believe you’re a part of it, and I don’t want my son to know he has amurdererfor a father.”
