Page 110 of Dirty Devil


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Or they would be if I hadn’t thrown everything away because I was afraid.

“I think I understand.”

“Have you finally found a girl worth sticking around for? Is it this new girl you’ve been posting pictures of?” I swear his whole voice perks up while my mouth drops open. My dad creeps on my socials? “Rowan and I watch all your games, and he follows all your social media accounts. Thank God, he only shows me the PG-13 stuff.”

I groan, sinking down on the couch and covering my face with my hand. “Neither of you need to be following my socials.”

“And the girl?”

Misery and despair swirl around in my chest, and the more I think about Avery and Mason, the more lost I become to my emotions. I open my mouth to tell him what I told Rhett earlier—I don’t do relationships or feelings, but they’re lies.

And then it finally hits me.

Everything Rhett said. Everything my dad said.Fuck.Everything I told Rhett when he was afraid of admitting his feelings for Lucy. I’m the biggest hypocrite in history.

I was so blinded by my own fear, I didn’t see what was right in front of me. Not till it was too late.

“I lost her, Dad. I said some nasty things to her, and I’m not sure if she’ll forgive me.”

“Take this from a man with his share of regret. Don’t wait thirteen years to apologize. Don’t be afraid to fight for love. It’s the best thing that will ever happen to you.”

“Thanks. Well, I’ve got a few calls to make.” My voice cracks and I take a deep breath to center myself. “It was… it was nice talking to you.”

“Can I call after your next game?”

He sounds so damn hopeful I don’t think I can tell him no, and I don’t think I want to. “Of course, but that’s like three in the morning for you.”

“I can set an alarm.” He clears his throat. “Goodbye, Foster. I love you, and I’m so damn proud of you.”

“Thank you. Bye, Dad.”

I hang up feeling more energized than I’ve felt in almost a week. For the first time in a long time, I’m not looking through a fog, letting it taint the way I view the world and the people in my life.

I love Avery.

She’s it for me—my end game, my future, my other half, my fucking soul mate, and before this moment, I didn’t even believe those things were for real. They definitely weren’t for me. I was a broken man, jaded by my past, and Avery made me want to be better for her… for Mason.

I’m not really sure when it happened, but at some point during myfakerelationship with Avery, I fell in love with her. That bone deep, soul rattling kind of love that doesn’t come around every day.

If I don’t try… if I don’t fight for her, I’ll be a miserable bastard for the rest of my life. If I don’t fight for her, if I don’t try, I’ll live a miserable existence full of what ifs. I don’t want that.

Not anymore.

Aside from hockey, I have no life. No happiness, no joy.

Nothing without Avery and her son.

I’m done letting fear hold me back. I’m done being the perpetual bachelor, done being the guy proud to have no attachments.

Avery and Mason are my family.

There’s nothing I won’t do to try and get them back.

CHAPTER THIRTY-SEVEN

“What are you doing? Why aren’t you ready?” Gloria demands as she lets herself into my room, like I assume she let herself in my apartment, and swats at the back of my legs.

I groan into my comforter from my new favorite position—face down on my bed where I can be alone to wallow in my feelings. “I am ready.”

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