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Her words, not mine.
“You’re interesting.”
She says it with such gusto that I chuckle. “That’s okay. You don’t have to say I’m interesting when we both know that I’m not.”
I used to be. I used to be wild and free, and…then I wasn’t. Single motherhood does that to a person.
“I thought I could take you and the kids out to eat today for lunch.”
“We have stuff to eat here.”
“Didn’t you just say you were boring?”
“I said I wasn’t interesting.”
“Same thing.”
“I’m not sure the kids will go with me. Well, we know Sammy will, but Callie…”
My sister rolls her eyes. “Yeah. She’ll get over the move and quit being so damned salty.”
I hope she’s right. If her father had survived his last deployment, we would have continued to move every few years. It’s the military way of life, but maybe it’s because I let us get roots after his death. I had been so numb, and with Sam’s and my parents living about forty-five minutes apart, it made sense to move back home. I know we all needed the stability. But as the years passed by, I now wonder if I stayed too long.
“Hey,” Avery says, stepping up and putting an arm around me. I’ve always been tall and slim, while Avery…has not. She’s four inches shorter than I am, with the kind of rounded figure guys go for. Also, she gives some of the best hugs. “Everything will be okay. This job, this town, the kids are gonna love it.”
I nod as something nudges between us, pushing Avery to the side. I look down at Houdini. He’s staring up at me with his tongue hanging out in his version of a doggy smile.
“Dude, I gave you treats this morning,” Avery says with mock outrage.
He gives Avery the side-eye and plops his butt down beside me.
“He knows who buys the treats,” I say with a laugh.
Avery grunts and I know what that means. She’s plotting a way to win Houdini’s heart. Shaking my head, I look at the time.
“I’ll jump in the shower if you tell the kids we’re going out for lunch.”
“Woo-hoo.” She pumps her arm like she won a massive prize.
I head to my room, the click-clack of Houdini’s nails following me. “I don’t need your help.”
He ignores me and follows me into my bedroom, jumping up on my bed. Yes, I’ve ordered him not to do that. He doesn’t care.
I have enough on my plate trying to get two kids to behave, so I figure I’ll wait until they’re in school to start disciplining him more.
As I undress, my memory slips back to the conversation I had with my mother before she and Dad left yesterday. She told me this was good for all of us and that I could move on. She doesn’t know that I have moved on…to obsessing about a man I will never see again and who was too young for me.
He made you feel younger.
He did. It was how he looked at me and the reverence in his touch. It was as if he awakened my soul, and I can’t stop thinking about him. I know. That sounds corny, but in all the time since Sam died, no man has made my knees weak with just a kiss.
I’ve also dealt with guilt. It’s not that I don’t think I should move on from my marriage, but it’s the fact I couldn’t remember Sam ever touching me like that. Don’t get me wrong, there might have been a time he did, but it’s hard to remember that now. It’s clouded with the grief and the haze of single motherhood.
“I’m hungry, and Sammy’s gonna eat my leg if you don’t hurry!” Avery yells out.
I roll my eyes and push those thoughts about Mason aside. I don’t have time to think about things like that, especially today. I have unpacking to finish, kids to get settled, and a new job.
* * *
