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His head jerks to the side, and he holds the mug steady in front of his lips. He sets his tea on the small table to his left without taking a sip. “Yeah, things are good.”
Good to know I can still read him. Which is scary, because that means he can probably still read me.
“Does she know you’re here?” I ask, voicing my suspicion.
“No.”
I take a sip of my tea. After a minute of silence, I ask the question that’s been plaguing me since I saw him on my front porch yesterday. “Why are you here, Jimmy?”
And what are you going to do about it now that you know you have a daughter? Idon’task—too afraid of the answer.
“That’s not important.” His tone is curt, so I don’t push the topic.
“How long are you planning to stay?” I grip my mug between both hands on my lap as though it’s anchoring me.
He shrugs. “Don’t know. A couple more days, I guess. From there, we’ll have to figure something out.”
Well, that’s better than him telling me he’s going to sue me for custody of Monica. But it doesn’t mean we won't end up in a courtroom, arguing over holidays and weekends. I don’t want to anger him further, so I decide to forget the details for now and turn things to a happier subject.
“Is your wedding really in a few months like the press says?”
He sighs, his gaze shooting to the yard next door. “Yeah. Lots to do still though.”
I nod. “So, you and Adelaide… how did that happen?”
Gah, someone get some duct tape and shut me up. Could I come off any more jealous?
He stands abruptly. “I don’t want to do this.”
I set my mug on the table. “Do what?”
“Sit here with you and try to catch you up on the last six years of my life while we ignore the bigger issues. But I’m not ready to talk to you about them yet, so let’s just leave it for now.”
“Okay, whatever you want.” I stand from the rocking chair. “Why don’t I go get Monica so you can say goodbye?”
“Yeah, fine.” He blatantly ignores my existence, and that itchy feeling begins.
I want to scream from the tension between us. The uncertainty of where his head is at. The not knowing what he has planned. We were lovers yeah, but we were friends too. As afraid as I am of the outcome, I need to fast-track us to the part where he lays his cards on the table and tells me what he wants and how far he’s ready to take it.
“Tomorrow is my day off. Monica will be at school. Why don’t you come over for lunch and we can have a real conversation about everything?”
He grips the back of his neck with one hand and looks at the porch floor.
“We have to do this, Jimmy. Let’s air everything out, because this living in limbo isn’t working for me.” I step on the stair down from the house, waiting for his response.
He slowly turns his head in my direction. “Okay, what time?”
“I’m going to drop off Monica at school, go for a swim, then I’m headed to a meeting. So, say… twelve thirty?”
“I’ll be here.”
I nod and make my way down the porch steps to go fetch Monica.
“You still swim?” he calls.
I swivel around and nod, walking backward.
“I guess some things don’t change.”
