Page 143 of Beautifully Scarred


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She flinches at the word "stepmom," but it’s so quick I can’t be sure.

“I’ll need to run it by Lilah, but maybe in a few weeks,” I say.

“Oh, right because you need Lilah’s stamp of approval. God knows she makes the best decisions.”

I inhale what feels like my hundredth calming breath. She has to put her differences with Lilah aside.

“She really has cleaned up her act, though this whole thing with Bernie being on every news outlet shook her up. She’s worried about someone digging up her past with him and bringing it all back to the surface.”

“Not everyone would let it ruin their entire lives,” she snipes.

“You say that like you’re speaking from experience.” I study her for a moment, and when she doesn’t respond, my gut twists. Adelaide has a particular face when she’s lying. It’s the same one whether she’s surprising me with dinner or a lie about flying to Vegas with her best friend on a whim. “Adelaide? What is it? Did Bernie do something to you too?”

She stands abruptly and walks toward the window looking out to the ocean.

My mind races to think of any interactions I had with both Bernie and Adelaide. All I can come up with is when we were filmingThe Regulatoryears ago and he summoned us to my trailer— she insisted that she’d wait for me to go meet him, barely spoke, and wouldn’t make eye contact with him.

I walk up behind her and place my hands on her shoulders. “Honey, did something happen?”

She huffs out a breath and spins around. “Of course something did. Something probably happened with any female who’s ever been cast in one of his pictures. That’s just how it goes. But you move on. You don’t let it ruin you, otherwise what’s the point?”

My mouth hangs open, and after a moment of shock, my fists tighten at my sides and rage, like a hot, burning coal, pulses inside my chest.

“What did he do?” I ask between gritted teeth.

“It doesn’t matter.” She steps by me, but I gently grip her wrist, forcing her to stop.

“Tell me,” I whisper. How long has she been carrying this around? Has she ever told anyone?

“It’s no big deal. He forced himself on me, I succumbed to get the part onThe Regulator. I knew a role like that could change the trajectory of my career and I was right. A few minutes on the couch was worth it.”

I’m shocked by how callous she’s being, and I can’t tell if it’s a protection mechanism or if she really can justify what he did to her.

“I’m so sorry.” I reach out, but she swats away my hand.

“I don’t need your coddling or sympathy, James. I’m not Lilah.”

Her words punch me in the gut.

“I’m only trying to console my fiancée. For fuck's sake, what you went through is traumatic. It’s not something you can just forget about.”

“Well, I did, and I moved on. I won’t be joining any pitchfork parade with all the other women he did this to.” She walks to the dining table and sits down in front of the invitations.

I’m at a loss for words. I’ve never seen her act this way. Is it the stress of the wedding coming up? The fact that I have a daughter? I can’t be sure.

When I don’t speak, she fills the silence. “Now, let’s move on. I need your opinion on the wedding invitations. They’re being printed next week.”

Pushing a hand through my hair, I walk over to the kitchen under the guise of getting a drink when really, I need space. Because I just realized from her confession that she probably had an idea of what Bernie pulled on Lilah six years ago when I went to her as a friend and confided in her.

And she didn’t say anything.

Even to this day. Even when I explained to her what Lilah told me a few weeks back, she played dumb.

But she’s a victim too and obviously masking her feelings so she doesn’t have to deal with what happened, so I don’t know if I have a right to be angry with her.

Whether it’s right or wrong though, it feels a hell of a lot like deception. Because if she had let on six years ago as to what might have happened with Lilah and Bernie, there’s no doubt in my mind I’d be living a different life right now—a life without her.

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