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“Bye,” Adelaide says and gives a little wave. Her fake smile doesn't fool anyone.
“We’ll talk,” Jimmy says to me before they turn and leave.
I close the door behind them and lock it. The one thing I hated today was seeing Jimmy dote on Adelaide. The way his hand would guide her on the small of her back. His arm stretched along the back of her chair. Although I’m not happy to see Jimmy go, I was happier not bearing witness to them as a couple in real life right at my kitchen table. Maybe that’s why it didn't bother me much before—they were a couple in a land I never wanted to return to. But now they’re invading my space with their lovey-dovey eyes.
“All right, kiddo, let’s get you to bed.”
Monica changes into her pajamas and slides into her bed.
I tuck the covers over her and kiss her cheek. “Night, kiddo. I love you.”
“Love you, Mommy,” she softly says.
I walk across her room, turn off the light, and my hand is on the doorknob to close the door slightly.
“Why can’t you and Jimmy get married?” she asks with the innocence that only a child has. Innocence because her world is black and white. She’s too young to understand the layers of history between Jimmy and me—both good and bad.
“That’s complicated, sweetie, but Jimmy and I aren't going to get married. We’re just friends, but we’ll always be your mommy and daddy.”
“Well, I don’t like it and I don’t like her,” she huffs, rolling over so her back is to me.
Neither do I.I sit down on the bed, rubbing her back with my hand. “I know, but you need to give Adelaide a chance. Get to know her. It’s not okay for you to be rude to her. You need to be respectful. How I’ve taught you to be to adults, okay?” I run my fingers through her hair again, and she rolls over and yawns. “Plus, Jimmy cares for Adelaide. You wouldn’t like it if he was rude to Eileen, would you?”
“No.” She looks at the ceiling.
“Because you like Eileen, right? And you see all the good things there are to like about her?”
She thinks for a moment and nods.
“Jimmy sees good things in Adelaide, so you need give her a chance to show you those same things.” I smooth her errant hairs off her forehead.
“Okay. I’ll try.” Her expression doesn't convince me.
I kiss her forehead, inhaling the scent that is unequivocallyher.
After a few minutes, her breathing slows into a steady rhythm and I creep out of her room.
As if seeing them together wasn’t torture enough, I dissect their interactions while I lie in bed. There was tension between them. Adelaide was clearly uncomfortable, and Jimmy needed to make everyone and everything perfect. The whole night was horrendous.
I roll onto my side, squeeze my eyes shut, and a tear rolls down onto my pillowcase. I allow myself one good cry over what I’ve lost, then the pity party ends. I have to move on and do what’s best for my daughter.
Chapter Sixty-three
JIMMY
“So, what did you think of Monica?” I’m eager for Adelaide’s thoughts as she buckles her seatbelt on the plane.
Normally I fly out on Sunday morning, but Adelaide insisted we leave tonight.
“She’s cute,” she says before popping an Advil with a sip of water from the bottle next to her.
I didn’t ask her much on Friday night because things between us were tense and I was worried we’d end up fighting. I didn’t want that to happen when we were going to watch her all day today. Friday dinner was awkward, especially after Monica’s outburst. I’m not sure if I have Lilah to thank or not, but Monica was more receptive to Adelaide today. By the end of the day, she even invited her to play leapfrog with us.
“Did you like her?” I wave the flight attendant away because we’re going to hash this out.
“I think the better question is does she like me?” She pulls her phone from her purse and buries her head in it. Who does she really have to talk to about the wedding at this time on a Saturday night?
“Could you put the phone down so we can discuss this?”
