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He shakes his head. “No, you talked, and I listened.”
“I thought we were on the same page?”
“I let you go last week because it was obvious you were freaking out and needed time to process. I didn’t want to push. The last thing I want is to stress you out and have you…”
We both know he was going to say use.
“You don’t have to treat me with kid gloves.”
He removes his hands from the steering wheel and puts them up in a placating gesture. “Believe me, I needed the time to think too. You weren’t the only one who needed to put things into perspective.”
I glance at the dental office. “I have to get to work.”
“Wait.” Jimmy grabs my hand before I can open the door. A thousand watts of electricity races from my palm, up my arm, and straight to my heart. “There’s still something between us. You know it as well as I do.”
I press my lips together in an attempt not to agree with him.
He shakes his head and grins. “Always so stubborn.”
I roll my eyes.
“Are you trying to say I’m wrong?” he asks.
“I’m saying I need to get into work.”
“Do I need to prove it to you?” He leans in closer, and my gaze flicks to his lips. “I can if you want.” His husky voice makes my thighs clench together.
“I have to go.” But my voice has lost all its fight and we both know it.
“Whatever we used to have is still there, but… it’s different now.” He leans in a little more. “I want to explore what that might be.”
And now my traitorous body leans in too.
“In secret. We don’t have to let anyone, including our daughter, know until we feel the time is right.” He moves closer until our lips are only an inch apart. “What do you say?”
I don’t say anything though, because he bridges the distance and his lips are on mine. His tongue runs against the seam of my lips. And what do I do? I open for him. Then our tongues are coasting over one another’s and his hand is in my hair and I’m lost—oblivious to the outside world and all the reasons why this is a bad idea.
He pulls away with a grin. “Think about it.”
He winks, and anger replaces my desire. Anger at him. At myself for being so weak and giving in so fast.
I huff, grab my purse and my lunch from my feet, and hop out of the vehicle, slamming the door.
“Is that James Crawford?” Mindy asks outside the dental office doors.
“In all his glory,” I grumble and open the door before heading to the back to erase him from my thoughts.
Which proves impossible since I'm hard-pressed to find any reason why I should say no to his proposal of giving us a try in secret.
Chapter Seventy-two
JIMMY
On Saturday night, I decide to flip the regular routine and have Lilah come over to the place I’m renting to pick up Monica. She reluctantly agrees. She’s been skittish since I dropped her off at work yesterday, making sure to never be alone with me.
I’m not trying to pressure her into starting something—I won’t do that to her. But we’d both be liars if we said there was nothing between us. Even before we slept together, there wassomethingthere. I think it’s lived inside me since the day I met her. I tried to convince myself over the past six years that she was addicted to drugs and I was addicted to fixing her. Hell, a psychologist I saw right after, due to Tripp’s urging, suggested it’s common for a kid from an abusive family to be the fixer in a relationship.
Maybe that was part of it back when Lilah couldn’t stay sober for even one day, when she made bad decision after bad decision. But the Lilah then and the Lilah now are worlds apart. She’s independent, her head's on straight. She doesn’t need me, but I do think I make her happy. If we could finally get our shit together, what a life we could live.
