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I grab a hat off the hook as I leave out the front door and pull my sunglasses from my bag. It’s not as if I’m some hotshot celebrity like Jimmy is, but I’d rather not take my chances.
I arrive at the nail salon and remove my sunglasses but leave my hat on. The man at the desk assures me I’ll only have to wait a few minutes before someone can help me. While sitting at an empty station, I do some breathing exercises to calm my nerves and remind myself that we’re not walking the red carpet. There’s no reason I’ll have to interact with the press.
I’m brought back to the present when a woman sits down across from me, smiling, and asks what color I’d like today.
“Do you have something in pale pink?” I ask, thinking that will coordinate nicely with the dress I plan to wear tonight.
She opens the drawer and pulls out the perfect shade, as if she can read my mind.
“Perfect, thank you.”
We make small talk while she works on my nails. I don’t offer much in the way of details about myself or my life, but I do what I can to be polite. By the time I’m pulling cash from my wallet to pay her, I’m feeling much more relaxed than when I came in.
I grab my purse from the floor beside me, thank her, and walk to the door to leave. I open the door and freeze.
Paparazzi are gathered on the sidewalk, and when they spot me, they snap pictures. The flashes from the cameras momentarily blind me, and I stand there, unable to move. The questions startle me into action though. I push my way through, moving toward where I parked on the side of the road.
“Lilah, are you still abusing drugs?”
“Lilah, why were you out of James's life for so long?”
“Lilah, are you the reason James and Adelaide broke up?”
“Lilah, are you using James because you want to try to get back in the business?”
“Lilah, is James really the father of your daughter?”
“Lilah, are you fit to be a mother? Were you using when you were pregnant?”
“That’s James’s car!”
I hit the button to unlock the vehicle and can barely open the door with the group of them pressing in on my back. My chest constricts and I struggle to breathe from the claustrophobia they’ve created. My heart beats so loud, it drowns out their voices.
I slide in, lock the door, and take a minute to gather myself before I have an anxiety attack. I try to slow my breathing and gain control over my body, but it feels impossible with them bearing down on me, still screaming amid the steady clicking of shutters.
I start the car, slam it into drive, and slowly inch out of my spot, making sure I don’t run over anyone. Imagine the headlines then.
Once I’m clear and away from them, I try my best to breathe properly, but my body fights my attempts. I will myself to keep it together long enough for me to get back to Jimmy’s.
Tears form when his iron gate comes into view. I hit the button, and it slides open at a snail’s pace as a few press linger around. I smack my hand on the steering wheel a couple of times and scream, the tears having nowhere to go but out.
The car has barely stopped when I shove it into park, snag my purse from the passenger seat, and make my way up the steps to the house. When I push open the front door, I abandon my purse in the foyer and a sob escapes.
I slap my hand over my mouth because I don’t want Monica to see me like this. Jimmy must have heard me though, because he makes his way to the foyer with a smile.
But when he takes me in, he races over and draws me up by the shoulders. “What happened?”
The urgency and fear in his eyes kills me. I wish, not for the first time, that I were stronger. “Where’s Monica?”
“She’s in the bathroom. Lilah, what happened?”
“I need to lie down.”
Jimmy supports my body down the hallway until we reach the master bedroom. He helps me to lie down on the bed and sits on the edge, rubbing my back while I try once again to gather myself.
“Shhh, you’re okay. You’re here now.” His soothing voice helps me to relax my body enough that I’m able to inhale a deep breath.
“The paparazzi was at the salon when I left. Someone must have called them. They ambushed me, asking all kinds of questions just like I knew they would!”
