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“Seriously,” Zac says.
We pull away from each other, chuckling.
There’s nothing we get more amusement from than grossing out our teenage sons.
Lilah
I step up to the podium with my notes in hand, but I don’t need them. Not really. I plan to speak from the heart today.
“We’re ready to begin,” I say into the microphone and wait a minute while all the guests and press in attendance situate themselves.
The sun shines on the courtyard filled with flowers, vegetation, seating, and of course a pool. I look over everyone in attendance. Though I normally shy away from attention, I’m happy to be here, in this moment.
“Thank you all so much for joining us today. Today’s opening has been a long time coming and has been a joint endeavor between my daughter Monica and me. While I’ll be lending my support to everything that happens here, this is really my daughter’s pride and joy. I’ll let her talk more about what the philosophy of the Santa Monica Substance Abuse Center will be, but I’d like to say a few words first.”
I take the opportunity to look at my family—my loving husband of almost twenty years and my rock, Jimmy; my intelligent and compassionate daughter, Monica; and the twins, Zac and Noah. They’re still growing, still learning, but they’re good boys.
I smile at them, tears gathering in my eyes. Not ones of sadness but tears of joy and gratitude for this life I was given. I already know my strength is inside me, but their encouraging smiles make it a little easier to pull it out.
“My addiction issues have been well-documented in the press over the years, as I’m sure you’re all aware.”
There’re a few quiet chuckles in the crowd because we all know any time my husband has something going on in Hollywood, the press loves to bring up the fact that his wife is a recovering addict.
“I was blessed to have someone in my corner who believed in me—always and unconditionally.” I glance at Jimmy, and a soft smile tilts up his lips. “Not everyone is so lucky though. I’ve spent a good portion of my adult life volunteering in centers like this around the country, whether it be sitting with people in recovery and telling them my story, attending fundraisers to bring in money to support some of the programs they’re running, or sitting with a distraught family member who is scared of what the future brings. Which is why when my daughter came to me years ago and said she wanted us to open a center of our own, I knew we had to do it.” I swallow hard past the growing lump in my throat. “Some of us need two, three, four, or more chances to get it right. I was one of those people. My hope is that this building will be a safe place for people who are struggling. Where they won’t feel judged or demeaned. Because the truth is that everyone matters to someone. Sometimes it just takes us a little longer to realize that. Sometimes when you don’t love yourself, it’s impossible to believe that someone else could ever love you. Our purpose is to be here until they believe it.”
The crowd claps, and I can hear the photographers' shutters clicking.
“Now I’d like to turn the microphone over to my daughter Monica, who will talk about the different types of programs we’ll be running here.”
I step away as the crowd breaks out into applause, and Monica hugs me before walking to the podium. Jimmy draws me in so that my back is to his chest, and he wraps his arms around me.
I close my eyes and inhale. I still feel safest in his arms.
As I watch my oldest child talk about how the center will have both in-patient programs and a drop-in clinic for those who can’t afford the cost of full-time care, I’m filled with a sense of joy and peace and contentment.
My childhood self would’ve never thought it was possible to be where I’m standing today—surrounded by a loving family and living a life of purpose. Still in love with the boy who grew up with me on the side of a mountain. I went from having nothing to having more than any heart or soul needs.
If I could tell that little girl anything, it would be to never stop believing. As long as you have hope, you have possibility, and sometimes life will surprise you with what’s possible.
I know that much is true.
* * *
