AllFreeNovel
Share Us
All her jostling on my lap excites my dick, the hard length straining the confines of my shorts now. While she’s pressed against me, catching her breath, she notices and purposely grinds into me.
“Careful. Don’t start something you can’t finish,” I say in a ragged voice, my hands gripping her ass.
“I always make sure you finish.” She lets out a soft moan, circling her hips.
The soft pants of her breath on my neck, her tits pressed into my chest, and the friction she’s causing leaves me with undeniable desire. My balls ache for release as she speeds up her pace.
I reach down between us. She lifts up, allowing me to undo the button of my shorts and unzip them. Boy am I ever glad I went commando today.
“Here?” she asks, her eyes growing wide.
“It’s getting dark and the lights aren’t on.” I pull out my cock, and Lilah licks her lips.
Fuck, I love how she’s always as hungry for this as I am. And her need is genuine now—not once since she’s been home has she used sex as a distraction or to avoid her feelings.
My fingers slide her bathing suit aside and she sinks down over me. My eyes roll to the back of my head from her warmth and wetness. I force them to face her, getting off more on watching her. Her eyes flutter closed as she presses down, and when I’m fully inside her, she lets out a rush of air.
She’s so tight, and I’m so deep inside her when she’s right up over me. Without any encouragement, she rides me, slow and steady.
I’m underneath, watching her steal her pleasure from me, owning me and taking everything she craves, biting her lip and moaning softly. Slowly, she’s losing the battle to be quiet. I bring my thumb down and circle her clit, and her cries of pleasure mix with the sound of crashing waves.
I wrap my arms around her, pulling her into me, wishing we could stay here forever.
Chapter Thirty-six
LILAH
Today is not a good day.
I don’t know why. Some days, it’s easier than others to resist temptation. Some mornings I wake up knowing I’ll make it through the day without a drink or using, and others it’s a struggle before I have my morning coffee—like every minute of the day drags on like an hour and each second, I’m thinking of ways to score.
Today is one of those days.
The fact I’m alone in the house, since Jimmy had a meeting with his agent this morning, doesn’t help. I’ve swum my laps, cleaned the house, had a shower, and prepped the chicken like Jimmy told me to. Anything to keep my hands and my mind busy. None of it is working. The familiar need claws inside me like a hungry beast demanding to be fed.
There’s not a meeting for another hour and I’m afraid if I leave early, I’ll just end up at a bar rather than a church basement. I contemplate calling the leader of the NA group I usually go to. Since I’ve yet to find a sponsor I really connect with, he gave me his number.
So, I sit with my legs pulled up to my chest and my arms wrapped around them, rocking back and forth on the couch, trying to will away the need.
Eventually I decide to try using some of the meditation practices they taught me in Utah. I don’t bother to move off the couch and sit the way you’re supposed to, too afraid that I’ll reach for my car keys if I move an inch. Instead I attempt to retreat to the silent, peaceful place inside of myself—the one I found when I was there, away and free from distractions and stressors.
After I don’t know how many deep inhales and long exhales, I do eventually find peace.
A hand lands on my shoulder and I rear back.
“Sorry.” Jimmy waves his hands.
My hand flies to my chest, and I exhale a short breath to ease my racing heart. “I didn’t hear you come in.”
“What are you doing?”
I frown. I hate that I might disappoint him by telling him the truth. “I’m having a hard day. I was meditating.”
He matches my frown and sits down beside me. Guilt flares inside me for worrying him, but instead of pushing away the unwanted feeling, I allow myself to recognize it. I have to be honest with him on this journey if we have any chance of making it to the other side together.
“What can I do to help?” he asks, taking my hands.
“Nothing.” I give him a small smile. “This is all me.”
