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I move to stand.
“Where are you going?” His hand takes mine and leads me back down on the couch.
“I thought…”
“Five minutes is long enough.”
I shake my head. “You’re kidding.”
“What sells headlines better than the latest heartthrob crashing down from stardom? I can see the magazine in ten years—‘Where is James Crawford now?’”
I whip my head around to meet his gaze.
All his hard work, all the sacrifices and the things he’s done would be for nothing.
Unshed tears burn my eyes, but I push them back. I will not show him weakness.
“I’m sure if I did some more digging, I could find even more fun facts about Hollywood’s good guy. Like I said, money gets a lot of information.”
Alarm bells blow in my head. No, if anyone found out about… no. That would change his life in catastrophic ways. One of my tears breaks past the dam and slips down my cheek. I open my mouth to speak, but I lose my voice.
He grabs my hand and covers his dick with it. “Don’t you want to repay him for all the times he saved you?” He undoes his belt and his pants.
He situates himself on the couch, his eyes falling to his dick, not shy about asking for what he wants. With tears falling, I drop down and let my purse slide from my shoulder to the floor.
Bernie pulls out his erect dick and strokes himself.
I squeeze my eyes shut. I’m doing this for Jimmy.
“Open your eyes, sweetheart, and suck back those tears. I want you to look like you’re enjoying it as you suck me.”
I flutter my eyes open, trying to calm my shaking body. His breathing becomes more and more labored.
“Let me see those gorgeous tits.”
His gaze is like acid burning my skin. I allow the numbness to seep in. It was always my best defense when I was young, and now it falls like a curtain over me. It offers a small amount of relief, keeping me one arm’s length separated from reality.
I slowly lower the straps of my sundress. His sausage fingers pull down my bra cups.
“Come here.” He grips the back of my head to pull me forward.
The closer I get to his small dick, the more strength I gain. I’m not an eight-year-old girl anymore. I can go to Jimmy and we’ll figure this out together. Screw Bernie.
“I can’t do this.” I place my hands on his knees, resisting his pull forward. “I won’t do this to Jimmy. I can’t. Do what you want, but I won’t betray him this way.”
A knock on the door shocks me and I stare at Bernie.
“Come in,” he says before I have a chance to get up.
“What…”
It all happens in slow motion. The door opening and Jimmy appearing, looking irate and devastated at the sight of me between Bernie’s legs with his pants wide open.
I’ve done things I can never undo.
No matter how much I wish I could, sometimes the wounds I inflict are too deep, too catastrophic, too septic to heal. As I look into the eyes of the only man I’ve ever loved, I know I’ve gone too far. I’ve finally crossed the line.
Even if he knew my reason for doing this, he’d never forgive me.
