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And I sat back, thinking. I wasn’t totally sure about what Annelise was saying. I understood her point, that change takes time and any shock to the system takes a while to settle in. But I still wasn’t sure I was in the wrong, that I’d been too harsh. After all, Kristian, Karl and Kato had left me during a trying time, and aren’t partners supposed to stick together through thick and thin?
I shook my head miserably, the confusion overwhelming. I missed the men, I craved Kristian, Karl and Kato desperately, thought about them all the time. But my path was unclear, the future uncertain. And what did I have now? Nothing, I thought unhappily. I had nothing.
TINA
Iknocked on their hotel room door tentatively. I’d gotten Kristian, Karl and Kato’s room number through my friend at the front desk, bringing him dragon fruit as a half gift, half bribe. I knew he appreciated the red, fleshy tropical berry, it was a delicacy here in Cambodia.
“Please?” I begged. “Please, please?”
And Tot had agreed, telling me it was Room 505.
“You better not do anything bad!” he admonished. “This dragon fruit’s not worth it!”
And I nodded, smiling over my shoulder in a rush to get to the elevator. “I won’t!” I called backwards. “I won’t,” I promised.
But the minute Karl opened the door, my promises evaporated because the man looked so good, so gorgeous that I could hardly focus. All I wanted was to do something bad to this man, with this man, something so dirty, so filthy that I was already feeling weak in the knees, my balance unsteady.
But fortunately, my pregnancy was the perfect excuse.
“Watch it,” he growled, grabbing me, one big hand on my arm and the other on my ass to support my weight. “Come in,” he said.
And I sighed, leaning against him heavily.
“Thanks,” I said softly as I sat on the bed. There were two huge beds in the room, plus a giant sofa, a giant TV, and an office area. Clearly, the men hadn’t held back, mercenaries command high prices for their work.
“Here,” rumbled Kato, handing me a glass of water. “Drink it, you’ll feel better.”
And I took the glass gratefully, letting the cool liquid run down my throat, moistening my lips before I began to speak.
“Karl, Kato, Kristian,” I said slowly, not quite knowing where to begin. “I wanted to say …”
But before I could say anything, the men were kneeling in front of me, their eyes serious.
“Before you can say anything,” began Karl.
“We wanted to apologize,” finished Kato quickly. “You were right. We took off like three fools, three cowards, leaving you in the middle of a mess and that was the wrong thing to do.”
I was stunned, looking at them with shock. I’d expected to be the one crawling on my knees, I didn’t think the men would jump the gun and tell me that they were sorry. But I was in for more.
“I guess what it is,” said Kristian with a wry glance at his brothers, “is that we have some kind of abandonment syndrome.”
I looked at them with a puzzled expression. Abandonment?
“Yes, abandonment,” said Kristian, his face sober. “I felt abandoned because my mother was never really in the picture. I mean Agatha,” he clarified quickly. “Agatha was never interested in me, as you’ve probably guessed,” he said. “I never saw her when I was growing up. I was raised by assorted nannies, our family butler, or whoever else happened to be around,” he shrugged. “Agatha was always getting her nails done, her hair done, or having lunch with friends. Who knows? It sounds crazy but I wouldn’t see my mother for two weeks at a time, even though we lived down the hall from one another.”
“Anyways, I buried my feelings of abandonment,” he said wryly. “I had a lot of other things to keep me busy, judo, lacrosse, wrestling, and after a while, politics and economics, the things a young prince was expected to take up. I didn’t realize how hurt I was by Agatha’s lack of interest until recent events, when I saw how Violet jumped through hoops for the twins, acting crazy even, doing anything to protect Kato and Karl.
“So when shit hit the fan, I had an internal meltdown. I know I should have stuck around,” he said slowly, “made sure that everything got back on track before jetting off with Halliburton. But I didn’t. I guess I felt so hurt by the revelations that I turned inwards, seeking peace and solace within myself, putting myself in radically different environs so that I could get away from it for a while, deal with it in my own good time.”
I shook my head confused.
“But Kristian,” I said slowly. “What happened that made you break down? I mean if Agatha’s never really been a part of your life, why would you feel abandoned all of a sudden?”
“That’s the thing,” he said slowly. “It’s not that the abandonment came on suddenly. It’s been a constant thing, a drip drip in my life that’s existed since I was a child. And there was no cathartic moment per se,” he added wryly. “I guess it was seeing how much Violet loved Kato and Karl … and then finding out she was my mother too.”
“Kristian, we were all played by the Rothchilds, don’t blame Agatha,” rumbled Kato. “She was a pawn, just like everyone else.”
“Yeah, but see, I thought I was one of them,” said Kristian slowly. “I thought that my grandfather, my uncles, my aunts all across the Continent were on my team. And it turns out I was just an interloper to them, they never loved me … and neither did my so-called mother.”
