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“He’s a grown man,” I yell back. “Perfectly capable of forming his own sentences. He doesn’t need you to speak for him.”
“Yes, he does, because he would never say what I’m about to say. He’s too nice. I’m not. You’re being exceedingly cruel.”
“Cruel?!”
“He jumped off the Sky Tower for you.”
My irritation flares into outright anger. “He jumped off the fucking Sky Tower because I’m the one girl who’d never opened her legs to him. Well, now I have, so he can finally leave me in peace and go about his merry way.”
Mack stares at me. “You’re kidding me.”
“What?”
“You know this isn’t about that.”
“Do I? He asked for one night with me. And he made the most of it, Mack. Do I need to say more?”
He winces. “No.”
I’m so angry and upset now that I’m not watching my words. “What, now you’re squeamish? I thought you wanted to know all the intimate details about my love life? Well, Huxley fucked me four ways till Friday because he knew one night was all he was getting. I made myself quite clear. He’s a fucking smooth bastard, and he always gets what he wants. You know that. Well, he got me, and now he’s had me. And yes, I might be pregnant. That’s what I wanted. And if I am, I’m going to have the baby in England and bring it up there. Why shouldn’t I? I don’t owe him anything.”
Mack stares at me. He looks genuinely shocked. “He’s asked you out every month since you were twenty.”
“Mack, that was a joke! You know what he’s like! Name one girl he’s dated for more than four or five months.”
“Because he’s been waiting for you!”
“Bollocks!” I’m nearly tearful. “Stop talking about this as if it’s the love of a lifetime. The thing is, England is the opportunity of a lifetime. The chance to work with top scientists. To make a difference, Mack. You of all people should understand how I feel about that.”
“I do. Of course I do. But I thought you wanted Huxley. If I didn’t think that, I wouldn’t have convinced him to go through with the jump. And now you have him in the palm of your hand, and you’re just throwing that away? That’s what I meant by cruel. Is this about revenge? You want to hurt him like he hurt you?”
Silence falls between us.
“Shit,” Mack says. “It is.” He runs a hand through his hair. He looks genuinely upset.
His words have shocked me, because I want to protest, and I can’t. It wasn’t a calculated plan. But deep down, I know he’s right. Consciously, it makes no sense. Huxley did the honorable thing, acknowledged his mistake, and decided to stand by the girl he’d knocked up and wait until his baby was born before he dated another woman. Subconsciously, though, it comes down to one fact: he chose Brandy over me.
I know it’s ridiculous. The guy was nineteen. It was an ice age ago. And it makes me a vengeful, hateful person.
I like to think maybe it also says something about my feelings for him. I love him with all of my broken heart. It wouldn’t hurt half so much if I didn’t.
“Ask him to tell you,” Mack says, hands on his hips, “about…” His voice trails off, and he looks away.
“About what?”
He purses his lips. Then he looks back at me. He’s breathing heavily.
“Nothing,” he says eventually.
“Ask him to tell me about what, Mack?”
But he just shakes his head. “Forget it.” He turns and walks away.
I run after him and catch his arm. “No, come on, what were you going to say?”
He detaches my hand. “It’s not my story to tell. And you’re right. This is none of my business. Do what you want. You usually do—both of you.” He walks away again, and this time, I don’t follow him.
*
