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“Thanks for volunteering me, boss.” Hudson winked comically at Ben to let him know he was joking. “Not sure how much help I can be, but if you need your car fixed or someone forcibly shown the error of his ways, I’m your man.”
Simon was pleased to see Ben smile and then volunteer his phone number. Immediately, Simon sent a text to Ben’s phone. “There are wireless chargers built into the bedside tables. Your phone should charge just by laying it down there. But just in case, there’s a box of charging cables and plugs people have left here sitting in the media room. That’s the room down the hall that has a double door.”
Ben nodded.
“Night, Benny.” Simon had to forcibly restrain himself from stroking Ben’s hair one more time.
“Night,” he replied softly.
Walking down the stairs with Hudson was one of the hardest things Simon had ever had to do. He wanted, with every fiber in his body, to stay and make sure Ben would be okay. But he was a fully grown man, not a child, and he’d been obviously living on his own for quite some time. There was no reason to think he wouldn’t be fine.
Nevertheless, each step down felt like a small knife sliding into Simon’s heart.
11
Ben Wants What He Can’t Have
Saturday, December 16
A super-plush guest room
The Gold Coast
This room he’d been given was the most luxurious guest bedroom Ben had ever seen. There was a large bed that faced the windows, a dresser and a wardrobe, two upholstered chairs with a small table, and a desk. The room was decorated simply in muted shades of blue and gray with pristine white bedding. The floor was polished wood covered by a thick rug Ben didn’t want to step on in his wet and filthy socks.
It was hard to process, but it was easier without Simon there. When Simon was near him, Ben felt acutely aware of everything, but only as the everything pertained to Simon. Thinking was difficult. All Ben wanted to do was be as close to the man as he could, close his eyes, and never have to move again. It was a completely crazy feeling that concerned him a little.
Being near Simon felt like every bad and wicked thing Momma had ever warned him about. He wanted to lose himself inside Simon and become something other than what he was. He craved words of approval from Simon’s lips even though he’d done nothing to deserve them. In fact, he’d been nothing but a big ball of trouble since Simon had found him lying in the snow.
And yet, Simon hadn’t left him there.
Ben counseled himself that he needed to realize that what was going on wasn’t in any way real. He was being given charity, that much was obvious. He should be too proud to take it, but he was weak.
Just like Momma had always said.
Ben shut down that train of thought and went into the bathroom. The one with “only” a shower. At least this time he didn’t break down into hysterical sobs. That was something. He took a shower so long that he expected the water to run cold but it never did. While in there he washed every part of his body thoroughly. It was, well, luxurious. Just like everything about this impossible house that the even more impossible Simon lived in.
After the shower he dried off with fluffy towels larger than he was. He brushed his teeth, noticed he needed to shave, and decided to leave that until the morning. He didn’t think it was late, but it was winter and thus dark outside. Besides, Ben was utterly exhausted. He felt like he could sleep for maybe a million years.
As he’d said, Hudson had put all of Ben’s clothes in the top drawer of the dresser. And yes, there wasn’t much. The room was warm as toast, though, so Ben only needed underwear and a t-shirt. Glancing around the room, he gradually noticed his things had found new homes, thanks to Hudson. There were books on shelves built into the wall and he saw they weren’t just books, buthisbooks. His art supplies, meager as they were, had been placed on the desk. His precious box, which he had put down at some point, sat safely on top of the dresser. His phone was on the nearest bedside table.
Ben felt like crying again and managed to hold it back. It wasn’t that he was sad, exactly. As terrible as the past day had been, he’d managed to land on his feet, as his Nana had liked to say. It was more that everything was just too much. More than Ben felt he could handle.
Worrying about it all tonight wouldn’t help anyone, though, so he pulled back covers that were as smooth as silk, flipped off the main light switch, and got into bed. It was the squishiest, most comfortable mattress he’d ever felt. It was like lying down on a giant marshmallow. His phone, as promised, was charging. He saw text notifications and picked it up. Unlocking it, his finger, as always, caught on the cracked screen.
Simon, it seemed, had sent him more than one text.
Unknown Number:This is me, Simon.
Unknown Number:I want you to feel completely comfortable here. Let me know if there is anything at all that you need.
Unknown Number:I’m glad you came home with me. I don’t think I could have slept at all tonight if you hadn’t.
Unknown Number:Good night, Ben. I’ll see you in the morning.
Ben added Simon to his contacts then sent him a reply.
Ben:im glad you brought me here
