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“First of all, you must agree that Papastathopoulos is a bit of a mouthful. Besides, helookslike a Hudson. Everyone calls him that, including you, so that isn’t fair. And I am not homophobic!” his mother insisted quite loudly. “Stop saying that! I was just surprised.” Silence fell between them for several seconds then she added, “Mostly.”
Simon narrowed his eyes. “Mostly?”
She knitted her fingers in her lap. “I sometimes wondered, you see, but you never… and I gave you all sorts of opportunities to talk about it, but you ignored them all. But it turns out I was right all along and you didn’t trust me enough to tell me. Thathurts,Simon. It hurts a lot. Afteryearsof hoping you’d admit that you weren’t straight, I have to find out from Mandy Parker, of all people, and you know she’s spreading it all around that I didn’t know and everyone is laughing at me behind my back. And I wasprepared.I knew just what I’d tell you when you came to me.But you never did!”That last was said in what could only be called a wail.
“Oh my dear lord,” Simon muttered.
Through the closed door came Hudson’s voice. “She’s not mad that you’re gay. She’s mad you made it into some big embarrassing surprise. Not homophobic, just got her nose all out of joint. Oh, and she’s probably not racist but she is salty about the no grandchild thing.”
“Thank you, Hudson,” Simon called out dryly. “So very helpful.”
“I try, boss. And ma’am, Simon here doesn’t think he’s gay. He just fell head over heels with this guy we rescued and then nursed back to health. Maybe it’s one of those nurse/patient things like in Hemingway, but I think it was just one of those love at first sight thingies you run into sometimes. And Ben just happened to be a man, but I’m with you on the whole wondering thing, because I’ve been wondering for years, too. If it helps any, I like the kid. I think he’s good for the boss.”
Simon covered his eyes with his hand and groaned. “You have got to be fucking kidding me,” he muttered.
“Language!” his mother barked at him.
“Sorry,” Simon said automatically.
From behind the door came a loud, “Ahem.”
Simon’s mother gave the door an irritated look. “I’m sorry, Simon. I shouldn’t have lost my temper like that.”
“Or barged into my room. I’m going to have to start locking the doors around here.”
His mother sighed heavily. “I’m sorry for that as well. I should have waited to speak with you.”
Simon stared at his mother.
She glared back, then added, “And I’m sorry I didn’t meet your young man under… ah… better circumstances.”
“You could fix that right now,” Hudson said from beyond the door.
“Why do I even bother to have doors?” Simon wondered out loud. “It’s not like anyone pays attention to them.”
“Take her upstairs to meet Ben properly. But first promise she won’t bite and anyway she’s had all her shots.”
“Hudson!” Simon’s mother shouted. “I should have you fired.”
“Not employed by you, ma’am. So, what do you two think? Are we all done shouting now? Can we be civilized people?”
“You should fire that man,” Simon’s mother snapped.
“Can’t,” Simon said. “He knows too much.”
“That’s true,” Hudson called out cheerfully.
Simon stood up. “Shall we?” he asked. It was as close to offering an olive branch as his mother was going to get.
She took his hand and the proffered peace offering with massive dignity. “Yes. Take me to meet your young man.”
“Promise not to bite him,” Simon added.
“Don’t try my patience,” she responded, losing much of her gravitas, then headed for the door, where Hudson waited on the other side.
“Ah, well, have we kissed and made up?” Hudson asked.
Both mother and son glared daggers at him.
