AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“Hmm,” she said, as if considering, then added, “no. I don’t think that’s possible. Goodbye, Simon.” With that, she hung up the call, secure that she’d had the last word.
Less than a half-hour later two orderlies arrived to wheel Ben to his new room. It wasn’t luxurious by Simon’s standards, but it was private and contained a reclining chair and a sofa that, according to one of the orderlies, could be made into a bed if Simon wanted to stay with Ben overnight.
Simon turned from facing the sofa to look at Ben. “Would you like that? If I stayed?”
“Only if you want to. I’ll be okay if you want to sleep at home,” Ben said, then pressed his lips tightly together as if to keep more words from escaping.
“I’d like to stay if that’s okay with you.”
Ben’s stiffly held face relaxed. “Yes, please. I don’t…”
Simon walked closer to Ben. “Don’t what, sweetheart?”
Ben took a deep breath then said, “Every time I woke up, I looked for you and you weren’t there, and I knew it was stupid to think you’d be there, but I still looked every time and—”
Simon lightly put his finger over Ben’s lips. “I’m not going anywhere. Not without you. When you wake, I’ll be here.”
Ben smiled at Simon and any thought at all that he could be happy without Ben by his side was wiped away completely. Life could move on without Ben. Simon could exist without him. He might even feel content from time to time. Happiness, however, wasn’t a possibility. Not now. Not anymore.
Saturday, December 23
A nearly acceptable private hospital room
Park Ridge, IL
“Simon?”
He’d slept fitfully on the makeshift bed so he heard Ben as soon as he called out. “Yes, Benny?” The room was mostly dark but there was a soft ambient light on the wall that gave some illumination.
“Just making sure you’re still there.”
Ben’s yearning tone was an arrow shot straight to Simon’s heart. “I’m not going anywhere.”
“Good,” Ben said. He was quiet for several moments then spoke again. “I left because I thought it was the right thing to do and I hated every second of it. All I wanted to do was run back to you.” He let out a short, unhappy laugh. “And home. Your house had already begun to feel like home to me, and I think that’s why I left, too.”
That didn’t make sense to Simon. “Why would feeling at home in my house be bad?”
“It wasn’t bad. It was the best thing that had ever happened to me.Youwere the best thing that had ever happened to me.”
“I’m not happy about the past tense there, Benny.” Worry crept its insidious way into Simon.
“What? Oh. Sorry. Youarethe best thing that’s ever happened to me. And I thought if I stayed, I’d tear your family apart and you grow to hate me for it. But as soon as I left, I regretted it. Instead of taking each moment with you and treasuring it for the gift it was, I threw myself away so you couldn’t.”
Simon could hear tears in Ben’s voice and he couldn’t stand it. He stood and went to Ben’s side, taking hold of his good hand. His fingers were cold and Simon tried to warm them. “I won’t ever throw you away. Never.”
Ben sighed. “I know that—or at least I want to believe that—in my head, but my heart knows that one day you won’t want me anymore. And I just want you to know… that’sokay,Simon. I need you to know that. And when that day comes, you don’t have to scream at me to leave. Just… let me know, okay? That’s all. Break it to me gently. I won’t… put up a fight.”
Simon’s heart felt like it was about to shatter. “Benny—”
“No, let me say this. You’ve already bought me so many wonderful things, and I’ve loved each thing you’ve given me, but you need to know that every moment with you is a gift. And I’m so, so sorry that I didn’t see that sooner. Your house is like a palace and the way you live is like a dream, but you, right here, holding my hand is what I need.” Ben’s hand squeezed Simon’s. Then his sweet, beautiful lips quirked into a lopsided smile. “Although holding more than your hand is good, too.”
Simon said the only words he could think of. “I love you, Benny.” He lifted their entwined hands and kissed Ben’s knuckles. “And every moment with you is a gift. Are you done?”
“Done?” Ben asked, his brow furrowed.
“Being melodramatic.”
Ben let out a burst of laughter. “I’m trying to have amomenthere, Simon.”
