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She?
What?
Lori felt like a train had smashed into her. “She? You said she?”
Jessi’s expression closed and her mutinous look returned. “He. She. What does it matter?”
Anger simmered now. Lori didn’t mince words. “BecauseSHEkilled the young woman who took your place, murdered her in cold blood with a knife. Pretended to be a nurse and got into the room that way.”
Once Lori saw the shock on Jessi’s face, the horror her words had painted, she stopped her sarcastic rampage and grabbed the other girl in a hug. “It could have been you, Jessi.”
Pulling away, Jessi muttered resentfully, “It should have been me. What would it have mattered? That poor, poor woman died in my place. I hate that. How could Ray have done such a thing?”
“I don’t know. You tell me. Has she always been so filled with hatred for others? So much that she could kill?”
“Maybe. I don’t know. Ray never showed me anything but respect. When I met her, I thought she was a boy. You see, I hated being a weak female so much, I’d begun to relate to the male version of myself. One who’d be strong and never let others take advantage again. Ray, whose first name is the same but spelled with an e at the end, understood. She dressed more often like a boy. With her, it didn’t feel wrong or sick… just normal and nice.”
“I suppose she didn’t want anyone else to know her gender, her real identity, so she let the others believe in her male counterpart, Ray.”
“Exactly. It had been important to her. She often dressed like a male and it tickled her when the kids she went to school with didn’t recognize her. She even had the hots for some chick at her school and told me about her plans to try and come onto this girl.”
“In her male disguise.”
“She loved the idea of getting some chick to fall in love with her and then have her find out she wasn’t a guy. Sick in a way, I know. But I went along with her ploy because it made her happy. Now, I imagine she’s terrified of being caught.”
Suddenly, Jessi seemed to realize what she’d been chatting about, and her face dropped to her chest. “She warned me about this, about talking with the cops, saying they’d try and be my friend to get me to give her up.”
Jessi’s eyes raised in search of Lori’s and her sly expression underwent a complete transformation. From friendship to disgust, she spit out the next words. “It’s exactly what you’re doing. Making me believe you care, and you’ll help me when we both know you don’t give a fuck about me. I’m just an informant, a freaking snitch.” Jessi waved toward the door, her voice guttural now… as if cement had congealed and hardened throughout her body. “Get out.”
“Jessi, that’s not true. And you know it.”
“I only know that Rae cares for me, and she’s proven it over and over.”
“Well, honey, her way of proving she cares – by sticking a knife in your sleeping body – doesn’t cut it with me. How can you believe for a minute you still matter to that psycho?”
Aggression obvious, Jessi’s voice rose. “Of course.” Her head nodded but it caused her pain. “You only look at what happened from one angle. What if she’d come to save me, get me out of the hospital. And when she realized it wasn’t me, to stop the other lady from crying out, she used a weapon?”
Jessi hit full throttle by the time she’d finished her rant. Threateningly, she shoved her chair toward Lori “I said out. I don’t want to talk to you anymore.” Tears rained down her face and her ferocious expression made Lori hesitate to push the poor girl past her limits. She’d seen the soreness Jessi fought, provoked by her erratic movements, and knew she needed to give the girl time.
“Hush, honey. Don’t get so upset. I’ll leave. But only because I’m scared you’re hurting yourself. Just keep this in your mind. I do care. Frankly, I have no idea why you’ve begun to matter so much to me but it’s the God’s honest truth. I’d never lie about something so important. Rest now. I’ll come back later.”
Lori left.
***
If she’d have turned back, she’d have seen the agony written all over the other girl’s face. The yearning openly displayed and the clenched hands of a person who’d forced herself not to reach out.
Chapter Forty
Once back at the office, Lori went over the new information with Larry about Rae being a female and spent some time in front of the monitors, brainstorming with the others who were there too, everyone working different angles.
The minute she’d arrived, she’d looked for Beau and ignored the twinge of regret when he hadn’t appeared.
“Hey Lori, so tell us all again exactly what happened when you visited with Jessi?” Larry wanted a minute-by-minute update.
“At first, we got along fine. In fact, I know she seemed happy to see me. The nurse let me help her with her bathing and getting her changed.” Head swinging back and forth in commiseration, Lori said, “I gotta tell you, Lar, her poor body is like a landscape of bruises and cuts, all swollen black and blue. Even old strap beatings were still obvious.” Voice trembling, she had to stop.
“There’s more?” Larry stood up to come to her. He stopped in front of her and closely gauged her eyes and expression. “What? You’re upset?”
