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I stop dead in the center of the kitchen, the true weight of what's been holding me back all along slamming into me from all sides.
What if she decides I'm too old and throws me away?
That's it. That's the last piece of the puzzle clicking into place, and now the picture is clear. It isn't only that I don't want to ruin her life by saddling her with an old man like me.
I don't know that I could take the blow if she decides she deserves someone younger. One day, she'll decide she's tired of being seen with a man old enough to be her father and will discard me for a younger model. That's what frightens me the most because I love her. God, I fucking love her.
Rose isn’t like that… is she? I can’t imagine it, but then time can change people.
You know she’ll never change.
I could be wrong. Then again, there are never guarantees. I didn’t know when I started my business that I’d end up making a success of it. I had no idea when I decided to raise Liz on my own after the divorce that we’d end up becoming a tight team. I had to take a leap of faith.
There's another leap to be made. My blood is pumping, adrenaline racing through my system as I stare down my options.
I can stay here and break every last piece of furniture in the fucking house.
Or I can go to her and lay the whole thing at her feet. All of me. I have to believe this is what she wants—but it would also mean taking the risk of trusting it will always be what she wants. That I will always be what she wants.
Dammit, we were meant to be together. End of story. If she wants me now, that's not going to change, any more than my love for her ever will. I've been looking at this all wrong. Nothing about what's between us is logical. It simply is, and you can't fight something that simply is.
That's what gets me out the door, keys in hand. Liz said they were going to Luca’s, so that’s the direction I drive in, not ten minutes away. This is fucking insane, but nothing in the world could keep me from her now that my mind's made up. I'll carry her out kicking and screaming if I have to, but before this night is over, Rose will know she’s mine. There will never be another question about it.
It's seven thirty by the time I pull up in front of the restaurant, meaning they've been in there for around a half an hour. It's a weeknight, though, so not too many cars are in the lot. If I make a scene, it won't be in front of too many people.
I hope it doesn't come to that, but I'm not going to let it stop me. I've spent too long concerned with what others will think.
The aroma of garlic and tomatoes hits me the second I’m over the threshold. As always, there's a quiet, charming ambience. Unfortunately, I'm about to break it.
“Can I help you?” the girl behind the stand asks, all smiles.
“I'm looking for my daughter.” Craning my neck, I search the room until I spot a familiar head of golden hair near the back corner, in a semicircular booth.
Ignoring the hostess, I begin to cross the dining room, watching closely. They haven't noticed me, so I have the chance to observe. The girls sit in the middle, and Liz talks animatedly to both boys, laughing and teasing them while they obviously bust her balls a little bit, too. She’s only pretending to be offended.
It's Rose who doesn't seem to belong. She sits with her arms folded over her chest, chewing her lip and staring down at what's left of her salad. Her forehead is creased in concentration. What is she thinking about? Whatever it is, it's keeping her from enjoying herself.
She and Liz couldn't be less alike. It could be my ego coloring my perception, but it doesn't seem like she wants to be here at all.
It isn't until I'm practically on top of the booth that anyone notices me. Liz gasps, while Rose sits up straighter, her mouth falling open. Now it’s clear how differently the girls are dressed, with Rose in a turtleneck that leaves not an inch of skin uncovered.
Both of the boys look up, and I see vague recognition in their expressions. “Guys, I need a minute here.”
“Wait a second.” Liz shakes her head almost violently, glaring at me. “What are you doing?”
“Either you let your friends step away so I can say what I came here to say, or they can watch this up close. It's up to you.”
“We'll go over here.” One of them gestures to the other one, and they waste no time walking over to the front windows where a tense, whispered conversation takes place.
“Dad! Are you serious?” Liz looks like she's ready to crumble in misery, looking around like she’s ashamed. “Why are you here? We talked about this.”
Rose hasn’t said a word. She’s hardly reacted, choosing to stare silently at me. “It's not you I'm here for,” I tell my daughter while gazing down at the woman I love.
It's all so clear now. All it took was seeing her with another man to know for sure this is the woman I was meant to spend my life with. The depth of emotion in my heart takes my breath away.
It was never just about her body or mine. She is my life.
“You know why I'm here,” I tell her. “Don't you?”
