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“It’s fine.” I pulled my shirt over my head. “It was nothing. I should go, though.” I found my socks and shoes and tugged them on.
“Sure.” Bastian walked with me through the house to the front door. “Do you have plans later today? If you’re not busy, maybe we can—”
“I can’t. I have some things to do.”
“Tomorrow evening?”
“We’re hanging out at Marcus’s. I’d ditch them, but they’d hunt me down and kidnap me if I did.”
He chuckled, but I could tell it was strained. “Have fun. We’ll talk soon.”
Invite him. Tell him he can come. Help him meet friends. “For sure. Soon.” I ran a hand through my hair. Fuck, I was tripping out for no good reason. “I gotta go,” I said again.
“Bye.”
I closed the door behind me and forced myself not to look back. But the whole drive, I couldn’t stop thinking about the look on his face when I’d left. About how good it had felt to hold him, to be close to someone with all my walls down. Playing in the pool with him, and dancing with him, and…Jesus fucking Christ. I liked him. I was thirty-three years old and had…what, my first crush? That was fucking ridiculous. What a dumb word. I didn’t have a crush on him. I simply liked him. I’d never let myself do that before, and it was high-key stressing me out.
I pulled into the driveway at Marcus’s beachfront home. My friends were standing on the front porch, waiting for me. For a second I considered putting the Jeep in reverse and leaving, but I knew there wasn’t anywhere they wouldn’t follow me.
Grumbling the whole time, I got out. The second my foot hit the porch, Parker said, “Spill. I’ve let this go on long enough.”
Corbin turned to Parker. “I can’t believe you didn’t tell us he was texting someone. My feelings are hurt.”
“Do we really gotta do this?” Marcus asked. “Declan’s allowed to have his own life.”
Finally, someone who made sense. “Thank you, Marcus.”
“No he’s not!” Parker countered, and I tried not to laugh.
“You got a haircut. It suits you,” I told Parker, going for a subject change, but Park pinned me with his baby-blue stare. This clearly wasn’t going away, so I walked past them into the house. “Fuck my life.”
“Why do I have a feeling you’re wearing the same thing you wore yesterday?” Corbin asked.
“Because I am. I didn’t even brush my teeth.”
Parker followed me. “No kiss hello or goodbye for you, then. I don’t want your cum breath.”
I fell onto Marcus’s couch. “I didn’t have sex with him,” I admitted, which made Parker’s eyes widen. Actually, three sets of eyes widened. I might not hook up often, but I sure as shit didn’t spend the night with someone I didn’t just finish boning.
Parker collapsed onto the cushion beside me. “This is more serious than I thought. You’ve been spending time with someone and texting them, and you spent the night without fucking. You have a boyfriend!”
“I gotta say, this is getting fairly interesting.” Marcus winked one of his dark eyes.
I flipped him off and groaned. “I don’t have a boyfriend.”
Corbin said, “You’re having sleepovers without the excuse of sex—with someone other than us. You’re basically married. Who would have put their money on Dec settling down before Park? Not me,” he teased.
“Not for lack of trying on my part, dickwad.” Parker gave his attention back to me.
I groaned again because I wasn’t sure how else to respond. For now, it felt like the best response. “We’re just friends.”
“I’m confused.” Corbin sat in a chair, forehead wrinkled. “You don’t do friendship outside of us. The married comment was a joke, but now I’m not so sure I wasn’t spot on.”
“Marcus, can you help me out here?”
He held up his hands. “I’m not getting in the middle of it. Besides, this is fun. I wouldn’t have had my money on you either.”
Parker sighed. “Can you all stop reminding me I’m going to die alone?”
Jesus Christ. This would never end if I didn’t put a stop to it now and just told them about Sebastian, but what did I even say? How did I explain the weirdness that was me and Sebastian? I rested my elbows on my knees, my hands in my hair, leg bouncing up and down.
They all got quiet, and then Parker said softly, “Hey, we’re giving you shit, you know that. If you say you’re just friends, we believe you, but if it’s more…you know that’s okay, don’t you? It’s okay to let someone in. I know it’s not easy for you, but you don’t have to try so hard to stay alone.” Parker began rubbing my back, making me feel like a child.
This was ridiculous. Why was I losing my shit over this? I didn’t understand it. None of it. “I started fucking Sebastian Cole ten years ago,” I blurted out, deciding to cut to the chase.
