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“I don’t give a shit about that. I just care about you, Dec. I’m so fucking sorry he did that.”
Sebastian was still on his knees beside me, and he wrapped his arms tight around me, then cupped my face, kissed the top of my head, my cheek, and all I could think was that he didn’t deserve this. He deserved better, and this was exactly why I didn’t let myself get close to anyone other than my guys. I’d broken my rule for Sebastian, and all it had done was hurt him. “How are you not angry with me?”
“Why would I be upset with you? For you, yes. Declan, this isn’t your fault.”
No, not really, but that didn’t change the fact that it happened because of my dad. That people were saying all these horrible things about Sebastian because my dad had set this into motion. I wasn’t worth this. Being with me wasn’t worth this hassle.
“I should go.”
“Go?” Sebastian asked as I stood. “Where are you going? There are paparazzi out there. All they’ll do is follow you.”
My heartbeat echoed through my ears. I was fidgety, my breathing faster than it should be. “I can’t do this. I don’t… I gotta figure shit out. And fix this for you. I just…” Didn’t know how to lean on him. Didn’t know how to not feel responsible for this. Didn’t know how to believe he wasn’t better off without me. “I just need to be alone.”
Sebastian watched as I shoved my shoes on and tugged my tee over my head. He followed me downstairs. I knew I was letting him down, but I didn’t know how not to do that.
I made it to the front door before Sebastian’s voice stopped me. “I love you, Declan.”
I closed my eyes, those words washing over me. I wanted them, fuck I wanted them. Wanted him. “I love you too,” I replied, then slipped out the door, and he didn’t stop me.
CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN
Sebastian
I couldn’t believe Declan left. I wasn’t sure what to think about that at all. Was he not as in this as I was? But he’d told me he loved me when he left, and…and I knew him. He didn’t give his heart easily, but when he did, Declan was in for life. It’s how he was so close to his friends and why he’d still helped his dad despite the way he’d treated Declan.
No, Dec leaving had nothing to do with how he felt about me and all to do with how he felt about himself.
My cell rang, and I flipped it over, hoping like hell it was his name and that he’d changed his mind, but it wasn’t. Fuck, his phone was broken anyway, so he couldn’t call.
The screen said Parker.
“Hey,” I answered.
“Marcus is at your place. The police are breaking up the paps because they’re blocking the road, but he needs you to let him in.”
Marcus was here? He’d come over? Of course he had. That’s how their friendship worked. “Shit. Okay, thanks. I’ll grab Marcus, but Declan left. He was upset. Fuck, I shouldn’t have let him go.”
“Goddamn him. That’s quintessential Declan. He’ll help anyone with their problems but won’t accept it for himself. We’ll figure it out. Talk to Marcus.”
“I will.” We ended the call, and I went outside. The streets were clearer than they’d been when I’d looked out the window earlier. Maybe that had made it easier for Declan to leave.
Marcus was on the sidewalk, talking to a police officer, so I jogged over to open the gate for them, thankful for its sturdiness and for the large privacy bushes outside. People were yelling across the street, asking for a comment and taking photos, but the officers helped keep them at bay as Marcus came in.
“All this because you have a fucking boyfriend?” Marcus asked as we went inside.
“They’re vultures. They smell blood and pounce. Declan’s life story…and more so because it’s his dad who went to the press, saying horrible things about his son. They’re prying into his background already,” I said, even though Marcus likely knew.
“I fucking hate that man. How many times have we told him not to have anything to do with him? But he never listens. Goddamned heart is too big.”
Yeah, yeah it was.
“I know…and now he’s gone, and I’m pissed at myself for letting him leave. I didn’t know what to do.”
Marcus cursed. “I had a feeling we might miss him.” He grabbed my hand and squeezed in support. “It’s not your fault he left. It’s how he deals. And it also doesn’t mean he doesn’t love you because he does. Declan just…he doesn’t know how to lean on people, how to need them. I guarantee that right now he’s blaming himself and thinking of all the ways this could hurt you and not him.”
