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Anger swelled inside me. Not hurt, at least not yet, but rage and betrayal exploded in my stomach, shooting sparks and igniting fires all through my insides. Shouldn’t I be brokenhearted? Or would that come later? Right then, the thought that went through my head wasn’t about Neil, but about Drake. I’d thought he was my friend. That in this crazy fucking world, he got me, when in reality, he was fucking my boyfriend behind my back.
“You’d think the two of you would at least be smart enough to go to Drake’s apartment.”
The sound of my voice made them both scramble awake. Neil clicked the light on his nightstand and cursed a quiet, “Shit.”
“Bastian…fuck, I’m sorry. I didn’t… I wasn’t… Fuck,” Drake said.
“How long?”
His underwear was on the floor, an open condom wrapper beside them.
“Not long, a couple of months. Jesus, I can’t believe I did this to you. I hate that I did this. What the fuck is wrong with me?” Drake sat up on the side of my bed, naked, hands fisted in his hair.
“Sweetheart—” Neil began, his eyes pleading with me.
“Fuck you. Don’t you dare call me that.”
“It was nothing. Just sex. You know this is my first monogamous relationship, and—”
Drake shouted, “You said you were in love with me! That you didn’t mean for it to happen, but it did!”
“I hate to break up this lovers’ spat, but you’re both in my apartment and you need to get out.”
“Wait. Let’s talk. Don’t make a rash decision. I love you. It’s just…” Neil stammered.
“You don’t respect me. Because if you did, you wouldn’t have done this. I’ve had my share of hookups, but if I’m in a monogamous relationship with someone, I respect them and the boundaries we’ve set. I deserve better than this.”
And…and I didn’t love him. It hit me as I stood there, looking at him silently begging for me to take him back. Being cheated on sucked. I was pissed, but I didn’t love him. I was more devastated by the loss of someone I’d thought was my friend. I was just…fuck, I was tired of it all.
“I need you both to get out.”
“Bastian,” Drake said, but I ignored him. I went into the bathroom, locked the door, and took the world’s longest shower.
When I came out, they were gone.
I grabbed the suitcase I’d just returned with from Atlanta, and booked a flight to Los Angeles on the car ride to the airport.
CHAPTER TWO
Declan
“I don’t know how you’re so cheerful in the mornings,” I said to Parker as we sat at one of the outside tables at Beach Buns, his coffee house and bakery. Parker had been baking for as long as I’d known him. He always said it was the first thing he fell in love with, and he’d been working toward making his dream come true most of his life.
He’d gone to school for Pastry Arts right out of high school. He’d worked under some really popular Southern California bakers, but he’d always been fucking good, even without their help. Like with my bar, it was only because of Marcus that Parker had been able to open his bakery. Marcus had been born to wealthy parents, but he’d also made a lot of money for himself. He’d saved all our asses more than he would ever acknowledge or want credit for. He’d given Parker and me loans without a second thought, hell, without us even having to ask him—at least that was how it had been with me.
I’d been pissed years ago when I’d found out the owner of my bar was selling. I’d been scared of losing my job, and the place I’d grown to love, and then it was purchased…by Marcus, for me. I sure as shit didn’t deserve friends like him, Parker, and Corbin, and I was thankful every day that I had them.
“Maybe that’s because you’re never cheerful?” Parker countered after chewing his bite. “It doesn’t have shit to do with mornings.”
I gave him the finger, then picked a piece of pastry from his plate. “You sound like Corbin.”
“Well, we both know you.”
While the four of us were all close, somehow it often ended up that I spent more time with Parker, and Marcus spent more time with Corbin. I didn’t know how that had happened. It wasn’t as if I cared about Park more than them or vice versa. It sure as shit wasn’t because me and Park or Marcus and Corbin had more in common, because Park and Corbin were a whole lot more sunshiny than me and Marcus, but when I’d left home and needed a roommate, it was automatically with Parker. When he had a shitty date, it was often me he called first, which I couldn’t say was real smart of him, since it was all so foreign to me. Park was different from all of us that way. He wanted that stereotypical, heteronormative happily-ever-after that Marcus, Corbin, and I avoided. Parker…hell, he lived for that shit. I, on the other hand, would never trust someone enough to fall in love with them. Marcus was skeptical about love, and Corbin was too in love with people giving him attention—as many men as possible.
