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“I don’t know, babe. I have to think about this. You tore me to shreds when you left,” I tell her honestly. “I can’t just forget about that.”
She looks up at me, tears in her eyes. “I don’t know how I will ever make it up to you.”
“I don’t know either, Cass. I just . . . I guess I just need time to sort this out. To figure out where my head is.”
“Okay,” she whispers, a little unsure. I lean back against the railing and pull her into me as we silently listen to the party within.
It’s not long before we hear a voice in the distance. “Found her,” Sean calls out to someone behind him and begins to approach. “Uhh, sorry guys,” he says hesitantly, clearly not wanting to disrupt anything that could be going on out here.
“It’s fine,” Cass says, stepping out of my arms to face her brother. “What do you need?”
He cringes and glances at me before turning back to Cass. “I was hoping for a favor?”
“Sure,” she says, automatically.
“Well, our first dance is coming up, and well . . . we were hoping you might sing?” he asks, cringing once again. My brows furrow. It’s a simple question, one we all know she will accept with ease. So why the hell does he keep cringing?
“I . . . I don’t know,” Cass replies, making my jaw drop as I stare at her. “You know I haven’t sung in a while.”
What the hell? Cass hasn’t sung in a while? That’s as crazy as me not playing hockey. Singing is a part of who she is, it doesn’t make sense. Sean glances at me once again before turning back to Cass. “It would really mean a lot if you could do it. I know it’s hard, but it would mean the world to me and Sara.”
With a sigh, she looks down at her feet and quickly wipes a tear away. My eyebrows furrow before she looks back up at him with a smile. An extremely fake smile at that. “Okay, yeah. Sure. No problem.”
“You’re sure?” Sean asks.
“Yeah. I’ll be okay,” she nods. “Now, get lost.”
He gives her a tight, grateful smile before disappearing. “Um . . . you’re not singing anymore?” I ask, completely blindsided by this revelation.
“No,” she sighs. “Not since I left.”
“What the hell, Cass?” I ask, alarmed. For as long as I can remember, she wanted to be a singer and musician. That was before she discovered she wanted to be a physiotherapist, but the singing never stopped. It’s her passion. She used to joke that she might have even loved it more than me, though I’d always pin her down and tickle her until she took it back.
“I just can’t do it,” she responds with a shrug.
“Stop bullshitting me and be straight. Why aren’t you singing?”
She turns back to me. “Because I’m a mess. I sing when I’m happy, and I haven’t been happy in a long time,” she explains. “It hurts.”
I’m quiet for a short while as I consider her answer. “You’re still writing though?” I ask, remembering the old notepad I saw sticking out the top of her bag that day in the library.
“Yeah, I’m still doing that,” she admits. “But it’s not how I used to write, it’s . . . I don’t know. It’s different. Darker.”
With a nod, I let her off the hook and bring an end to her interrogation, knowing I’m somehow going to have to help her through this. I have no idea how I’m going to do it but I know I won’t stop until her heart is no longer hurting. I can’t stand an unhappy Cass. “Come on,” I say. “We better head back inside.”
“Okay,” she whispers as we turn and head back to the door. We’re walking back into the room when she stops abruptly before me. I follow her eyeline and notice she’s staring at my parents talking with Sara and Sean. “What the hell are they doing here?” she asks.
“What else?” I scoff. “Social climbing.”
We watch as my mother leans in and gives Sara a tight hug and kiss. “I don’t think Sara has any idea who she is,” Cass mentions.
“Probably not,” I mutter, my hand involuntarily taking her waist. “Mom would be telling her what a wonderful wedding it was and how spectacular she looks.”
Cass scoffs, “And Sara would be thanking her for coming, keeping it polite in case they’re friends of Sean’s,” she murmurs. “If only she knew.”
We watch as my father holds a hand out to Sean, who takes it in his own and gives it an extremely firm shake. Once Sean releases his hand, it goes straight behind his back where he shakes it out, clearly in pain, but the fake smile doesn’t fade from his face.
