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When it was clear he wasn’t going to say it now, I threw the rag down. “This was a mistake. Moving in with you.”
“Whoa, hold on a second.” He rose and groaned. “Fuck, I’m sore.”
I marched into the bedroom and looked around for my suitcase. It was shoved in the corner of the closet. I whipped it out and threw it onto the bed in a fit of rage. I unzipped it and opened the top.
Slash stepped in front of me, and I almost barreled into him. He placed his hands on my shoulders. “Will you let me explain?”
“What’s there to explain? You don’t feel the same way. It’s fine. I’ll be fine. We’ll be co-parents, but we won’t be in a romantic relationship. It’s fine.”
“Jesus,” he muttered. “You’re mad as fuck at me and yet you won’t keep me from my kid?”
“It’s not the baby’s fault his father is an emotional fuckwit,” I sniffed, hating that tears were about to pour down my cheeks. “I fell in love with an emotional fuckwit!”
He pulled me into his arms, and I stupidly let him.
“I came back into town because one night with you wasn’t enough. Did I know about the baby?”
“No.” I blubbered into his shirt.
“Remember when I asked you to move in with me?” He tilted my head back, so I was forced to meet his gaze. “I didn’t have to do that. I was worried about your safety, but if I didn’twantyou—if I didn’t want tobewith you—I’d have brought you here and let you live here alone where you were safe, and I’d have stayed at the clubhouse.”
“I still want to hear the words, Slash.”
“Why? Aren’t my actions enough?”
“Why can’t you say them? What’s your damage?” I wrenched out of his arms and took a seat on the edge of the bed. “I think I’ve been pretty flipping understanding, haven’t I? What with this cartel stuff and knowing your money isn’t legal.”
He stilled. “I could say the words. But how would you know if I’m telling you the truth? Words are empty. Words are meaningless.”
“I. Love. You. There, see?Not that hard to say.”
“Jesus Christ, woman, of course I love you,” he boomed. “I love you so damn much I’m afraid it’s going to scare the shit out of you. I love you so damn much that it’s killing me trying to play it cool and not get your name fucking inked on me. I love you so damn much that I’m already thinking about buying you a house with so many rooms we’ll have to have a bunch of kids to fill it. But you can’t say that to a woman you knock up from a one-night stand who is one step away from bolting, and who you’ve only known for a few weeks. You’re scared and not just about the world I’m from, and I was trying to ease you into it, so you don’t run off.”
“No. What you were trying to do was fuck me so hard and good that I didn’t care if you saidI love youor not. And it worked. For a bit.”
“Look, this works both ways. I don’t want you to be with me out of some misplaced sense of obligation,” he stated.
“Back at you.”
“I know how your mind works,” he said. “You were trying to talk yourself out of what you were feeling. You were trying to blame it on hormones or the mind-numbing sex we have.”
“Yeah. I was,” I said quietly. “I didn’t know you had it in you, Slash.”
“What?”
I smiled tremulously. “Your ability to make impassioned speeches.”
“Felt more like a monologue,” he grumbled.
“Slash?”
“Hmm?”
“There are some blueberry muffins in a container on the counter.”
* * *
“Promise me something,” Slash said as he polished off the last of the blueberry muffins.
