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“Why don’t you call him dad?”
She asked a question I never wanted to answer. Every family had dark secrets, and we weren't no different, but I planned to die with mine. Bring that shit right to the goddamn grave with me. I looked at Atheist, the only breathing thing I’d told my secrets to, and patted him. He wouldn't judge me, unlike people. Even a person like Gia.
“I just don’t.”
“That’s not why,” she prodded, her eyebrows furrowed.
I blinked at her, memories racing through my head. I swallowed hard, though I tried not to show it. Silvio was capable of all sorts of cruelty until I was old enough to fight back. I missed too much school and had to drop out before I could even make it past the eighth grade because of the beatings. He would get off on me fucking his whores when I was hardly old enough to know what I was doing. That hardly scratched the surface of his cruelty. It was no wonder I became the way I did. When I was sixteen, I finally found my voice and strength. I pulled a pistol on him. Told him I’d had enough.
But I couldn’t tell Gia any of that.
“Silvio did some real terrible things to me when I was growing up. Things you don’t talk about.” That was all she would get out of me.
“Enzo...” she said with sympathy I didn’t want from anybody, especially her. If she knew all the things he’d done to me or made me do, she wouldn’t sit beside me.
“Nah, it’s fine. How do you say it? Such is this life?” I rubbed my hands down my pants and avoided her gaze. Feeling vulnerable in any capacity filled me with an anger that rose from the bitter hurt I still carried.
“That’s different. Shit’s not supposed to come from the inside.” She pursed her lips.
I cleared my throat to break the heavy silence between us.
Gia pushed Atheist off the couch and crawled over to me. She straddled my waist and looked down at me with her rich brown eyes. I pushed the hair off her shoulder and pulled her close to me as I kissed the soft skin of her neck. She sure knew how to calm the beast inside me. She put the goddamn thing to sleep. My hands raced down her sides as she started to remove her shirt.
I’ll regret this later,I told myself as I put my hands over hers and stopped her, leaving a sliver of tan skin exposed on her stomach. Her face twisted in a clear expression of frustration.Ain’t no one likes to be rejected.
“Why?” she asked with a deep sigh.
The truth? The thoughts of my past and my childhood couldn’t have been more of a turn off. Even with Gia’s warmth on my lap, I couldn’t break away from my memories. If I was going to fuck her, I’d need to have a clear head. Or at least one that wasn't quite so heavy.
The twist in her expression rubbed me all the wrong ways.
“You don’t get to decide when I fuck you,” I snapped and pushed her off my lap.
She sat on the couch with a huff. “Whatever, you dick,” she said as she tugged down her shirt. “Your loss.”
Oh, I know.
ChapterFifteen
Gia
Aloud bang woke me up, something that would startle any one of us in this life. I rose onto my elbows and looked toward the window. I groaned as I stared at Enzo. A cigarette dangled from his lips as he leaned over the pool table. Smoke rose and his mouth pursed around it. “Did I wake you?” he asked, though he knew the answer. “Do you wanna play?”
I looked at the clock beside the bed. “It’s three in the morning. No. Fuck right off.” I rolled over and covered my head with the blanket.
His smooth voice wafted over to me. “I really would like you to come play with me. I can’t sleep.” Another drive of the cue ball caused a clattering roar as balls scattered everywhere.
Goddamn it.I sat up with a groan and peeled myself out of sleep’s warm embrace. I rubbed my eyes as I walked over and leaned against the pool table. Striped and solid balls dotted the table’s felt surface. Enzo drew the stick back and hit the cue ball, knocking two striped balls into two different pockets. My mouth dropped. He removed his cigarette from his mouth just long enough to have a drawn-out sip of beer.
“Do you know how to play?” he asked as he handed the stick to me.
“Yeah, no. These aren’t the sticks I’m familiar with.” I chuckled at my own joke, but his lips didn't even twitch. I cleared my throat nervously. “No, I don’t know how to play.”
He kept his gaze on the balls as he planted himself behind me. I leaned my upper body toward the table. I knew that much, at least. Enzo guided my hands as he tried to show me how to strike the cue ball and aim it. He might as well have been trying to teach me Spanish. When I went to strike the ball, the stick skidded along the tabletop and barely tapped the ball, moving it merely a few inches.
He exhaled as he patiently tried to line me up for the next shot, the smoke from his cigarette playing in the air between us. My hips grinded into him as he pressed his body against me.
“I know what you’re doing.” He smirked, the cigarette dangling between his loose lips. “I ain’t ever moved my hips like that to play pool.”
