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“Mm-hmm.” Silvio nodded his head. He looked as if he had more to say to me but thought better of it. Good choice.
“Are we done here?” I snarled.
“Don’t forget to get me my stuff.” He tapped his nose and smiled.
I wanted to tell him to get his own damn drugs, but I thought better of saying more. I scoffed before leaving him to baby his cheek by himself.
My heart thumped against my chest. Silvio sent us into the wolf’s den, knowing they’d pounce on Gia.Fucking piece of shit.I raced upstairs to find Gia. When I got to my room and nudged Atheist away with my knee, I heard the shower running in the bathroom. Part of me wanted to go in there and comfort her, but I worried my anger would spill onto the one person who didn’t deserve it.
I’d experienced something like this only once before, and I handled it way worse back then. I was dating a broad from Long Island, and she was the opposite of Gia in every way. My lifestyle caught up to us one night, and I ended up bound and watching two men from one of our rival families—who Silvio no doubt pissed off—rape her in front of me. The screams would forever be etched into my memory, and the way she looked at me as if I was to blame...well, there was no way I wasn’t. Back then, I treated her like it had been her fault and that I couldn’t be with her because of it. Like she was tooused. That wasn’t wholly the truth, though. I couldn’t sleep with her without remembering what I saw. I refused to make Gia feel that way, no matter how mad I was.
By the time I shook myself from my memories, she’d stepped out of the bathroom. She was already dressed, and she looked away from me as she walked toward the bed. I followed her, trying to get in bed with her, but she shrugged away from me.
Please don’t push me away.“Gia,” I whispered, as if talking to a scared animal.
“Leave me alone,” she said as she slipped into bed and turned over.
I couldn’t leave her alone. I wouldn’t let her sit on this guilt all night. I grabbed her arm and tugged her toward me. She finally looked up at me, her dark eyes rounded with sadness. I straddled her and pinned her arms above her head to stop her from flailing as she tried to push me away.
“Listen to me!” I said through clenched teeth. “I am not mad at you, Gia. I’m not even upset with you. I’m the one you should be upset with, and I’m so sorry!”
Her lips trembled. “I...Enzo...”
I released her hands and dropped beside her, wrapping my arms around her. “What happened?” Though I didn’t want to know, I needed to hear it.
Her body melted against mine as the tension poured out of her.
“Tell me, Gia.” I grabbed her chin and forced her eyes to look at mine. “Did he hurt you?”
She shook her head.
“Was it just him?”
She recoiled at my words, as if being tossed into the pit of a memory. She nodded. It broke my heart to see her feeling so weak. It was so uncharacteristic of her, and it was hard to witness.
She finally broke the silence with a trembling voice. “I just let it happen. I didn’t even put up a fight.” She shook her head as she spoke, her eyes glazing over.
I pulled her into me. “I wouldn’t have wanted you to fight. You did everything you had to do.”
Her body shivered violently, and I pulled the blanket over her. I brushed the hair from her face, kissing her cheek before resting my face against hers and inhaling her scent.
“Am I mad?” I continued. “Yes, but not at you. I’m fucking jealous and possessive, and I can’t stand that he got to have you.” I couldn’t tell her how possessive I actually felt. I wanted to fuck her back in the car, claim her as my own again. But she was hurt, and I couldn’t let myself be me.
“I just feel dirty.”
“No, Gia!” Her words reminded me of that girl from Long Island, and it caused my voice to rise too sharply. “There is nothing you could do to be dirty.”
“Yes there is, Enzo!” she raised her voice back at me, snarling my name.
“No—”
“My body liked it,” she said so quietly I almost didn’t hear her. But I heard enough of it. My jaw dropped at her confession.
Nowthatmade me angry, though my mind argued with me about how I enjoyed some shit that happened to me too. Sometimes our bodies betray us.
I reached for her face, and she flinched as if she thought I would hit her. I would never. “Did you come?” I asked, and it made me curse myself under my breath. That was too much. I just needed to know. That fucking Russian took something that belonged to me, and most importantly to her, and I needed to know just how much of her he got. Did he feel how tight she got when she came? Did he get to hear how her moans sounded?
“No,” she said with a quick shake of her head. I wished I could tell her about things that happened to me, to make her understand why I was the way I was. We were both too used to trauma like that. That was the sad part.
