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That thought literally knocked the air out of my lungs. I leaned against the counter, feeling suddenly lightheaded.C’mon, Skye. You know he likes you. He wouldn’t have gone down on you eight million times last night if he didn’t find you attractive. I’m sure there’s a reasonable explanation. You just need to talk to him and find out.
That’s right. I was right. I wasn’t going to spiral just because I was still reeling from Carter’s announcement last night. Just because I wasn’t good enough for Carter doesn’t mean I’m not good enough for Ansel.
I sat down on the edge of the toilet seat to remove the bandage from my ankle. The swelling had gone down considerably, the skin no longer red. I rolled my ankle from side to side, testing my range, and was relieved that it didn’t burn with pain. I would still be careful walking on it, but at least I hadn’t rolled it as badly as I thought I had.
After throwing the old bandage away in the trash, I headed straight to the shower, turning on the water. I let it run for a minute, letting the water warm up to a good temperature. I stepped under the stream, groaning with pleasure as the warm water rolled down my back, releasing the tight muscles there. I tilted my head back and closed my eyes, letting my mind wander. All I could think of was Ansel, just on the other side of the wall, with his cock straining against the fabric of his briefs. The tip of his searing erection bumping into my skin all night long, making me hot and bothered and sleep impossible. Goddess, I just wanted a taste—just one taste—it made my entire body ache.
My pussy ached, feeling less sore thanks to the warm water. My inner walls clenched around nothing but air, making me whimper a little. Even after the marathon pussy-licking session, I was ready for more. That’s just how Ansel made me feel—insatiable. I already had a pretty healthy sexual appetite, but I felt like a horny animal with infinite energy whenever I was near him. The orc just oozed sex.
Ha. I couldn’t help but laugh at the irony. If he was so sexual, why was he refusing to let it go any farther?
“What do you think you’re doing, lass?” Ansel’s soft yet stern voice broke me from my trance. My eyes snapped open, and I stared at his broad, green form through the foggy glass of the shower. It was clear enough I could see his gaze pointed downward to my fingers rubbing my clit between my legs. Oh. I guess my fingers had drifted down between my legs without realizing—
I moved to pull my hands away, almost embarrassed. “I was just showering—” I cut myself off, my eyes lowering to the enormous tent in front of his pants. Goddess, it looked so painful. I just wanted to relieve some of that pressure for him.
I let my fingers stay where they were. I widened my stance, just a little, tilting my pelvis towards the glass so he would have a better view. I tipped my head back a little, letting out a little moan, as I rubbed myself unabashedly in front of him. I was playing it up for him a bit, but I loved the way it made me feel to have him watch—it was so dirty. His dark eyes and slack jaw made my entire skin prickle with heat.
“Are you going to stand there and watch, or are you going to join me?” I rasped, only sounding sexy thanks to my sore vocal cords.
He stepped out of his briefs, his thick cock springing free. If I was a cartoon, my eyes would be popping out of my head right now, my tongue rolling out of my mouth and reaching all the way to the floor. I knew he was big, but I realized now during our interaction in the alley, he had only been half-mast. Seeing him now in his full, erect glory . . . I swallowed thickly. Maybe it was a good thing we hadn’t gone all the way yet. That monstrosity looked big enough to tear me in half.
He opened the shower door and stepped inside, crowding me against the wall. I couldn’t take my eyes away from the thick cock jutting out in front of him, bobbing in the air as he moved. I heard Ansel chuckling somewhere in the distance.
He touched my chin, tilting my gaze upward. “Excuse me, miss, but my eyes are up here,” he said, smiling.
My entire neck and face flamed with embarrassment. I opened my mouth, trying to think of a lighthearted response. But all I could think of was a desperate,Please let me touch you. I want to touch you so badly.
My brain was short-circuiting too much for me to even manage speech. My pulse pounded under my skin with a strange mixture of fear and excitement. I may have been nervous, but more than that, I was so fucking ready for him that my wetness dripped down my legs.
Ansel and I were finally naked together, so that could only mean one thing—
Ansel reached across my head and grabbed the bottle of shampoo. “What are you doing?” I asked, sounding a little peeved. Cleaning up was for after we get dirty.
He squirted a quarter-sized dollop into his palm and started massaging it into my hair. “Washing you,” he said nonchalantly. As if we both weren’t naked. As if the tip of his erection wasn’t bumping into my stomach every time he moved, turning my blood from low boil to burning. I was so wanton; I couldn’t even enjoy the head massage he was currently giving me. Was this supposed to be foreplay? Because if so, I was already warmed up. Anything beyond this point was just cruel.
His cock was right there. What would he do if I just reached out and touched it?
“Sweetling,” he said a little sharply, catching my arm’s slight jerk from the corner of his eye. He let out a long sigh. “Don’t worry about me. If you want me to touch you, all you have to do is ask.”
I was quiet as he adjusted the shower head so the stream of water washed out the shampoo without getting anything into my eyes. “I don’t want you to touch me, not right now,” I said finally. The sweet scent of my arousal, mixed with the fresh smell of coconut conditioner, filled the cramped space as he worked the conditioner into my hair. “I want you to fuck me, Ansel. Or at least let me touch you. Is there something holding you back? Are you worried I’m going to be too clingy after the fact—”
“Gods, Skye. No,” he breathed out in a harsh voice. He stopped kneading my hair to stare at me, and I reluctantly looked up, meeting his gaze. His brows furrowed together in frustration. “If you’re trying to imply that you’re the problem as to why we haven’t been more intimate, then get that idea out of your head right now, because you are perfect. There is nothing wrong with you.” He paused, looking thoughtful, as he ran his finger over my pert nipple. “I am so… attracted to you,” he said, emphasizing the word as if it physically pained him. I’m sure it did, seeing the evidence of his pain jutting proudly between us. “I want to be buried inside you so bad…” He let his words trail off, giving his head a little shake, as if physically stopping himself from going any further. “But right now, I need to focus on the mission. I need to keep a clear head. I hope you can understand.”
I was no therapist, though I had spent enough time in a therapist’s chair that I qualified for an honorary certificate at most, but it felt like there was more he wasn’t telling me. But I wasn’t going to push it. I prickled with guilt for not taking Gregor into consideration. This wasn’t some kidnapping-turned-romantic-getaway for him—this was his life, and if he didn’t kill his uncle, there would be no future for him.
If that was true, why did it still feel like a rejection?
He finished rinsing the conditioner out of my hair. “Can you wait here while I grab you a towel?” Ansel asked, his hand pressed against the glass door, ready to push it open.
“Wait.” I grabbed his arm. I sucked in a deep breath, suddenly feeling very nervous. “You have been so kind to me, helping me get over my ex-boyfriend and helping me see how much of an asshole he really is. I want to… return the favor. No sex, I promise. But I want to make you feel good, like you’ve made me feel good. Please, Ansel. Let me do this for you.”
Chapter twenty-two
Hedidn’trespondrightaway, but his mouth pressed into a hard line as his brows pushed further together. There was an internal debate going on, and being a modern woman in the 21st century, I knew how important consent was, even when it involved a morally gray orc boss.
He gave me a slow nod, indicating that I could proceed.
I took his hand and guided him to the small ledge in the corner of the shower. Ansel sat down, and I lowered myself between his knees. The shower was already cramped with us standing that me kneeling between his legs didn’t make much of a difference.
