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Of course I want to do this. You’re the only person I want to do this with,the words pushed against my lips. But how many more times did Ansel have to reject me before I realized he wasn’t going to change his mind?
If I couldn’t keep him forever, I wanted to enjoy him one last time.
“Yes,” I finally said. “I’m sure.”
Ansel’s head dipped into the hollow of my shoulder as I started to stroke him. He groaned into my neck, his hot breath tickling my skin and making my cunt wet with need.
“Lay down,” he whispered.
I stroked him again, my fingers giving extra attention to the underside of his tip. My skin prickled from the vibration of his deep groan into my shoulder. “No,” I said. Ansel raised his head to stare at me. “I’m in charge tonight, so you listen to me. You lay down.”
Ansel’s dark brows pushed together in surprise at my tone before a grin spread across his face. He kicked off the blanket and rolled onto his back, tucking a hand behind his head.
I sat back on my heels next to him, admiring his perfect body now on display. From the firm, sculpted muscles of his pecs that slowly tapered down to his deep V, I took it all in. I committed it all to memory—even to the crudely stitched scars on his chest—I didn’t want to forget a single detail. When Ansel was gone, all I would have left were our memories together.
I hesitated. I had told him I was in control, but I didn’t really know how to proceed. I wanted to make this night unforgettable. Makemeunforgettable. But that was too much pressure for a woman who, up until this point, had thought that only vibrators could make her orgasm.
This was why Ansel took charge. Not me.
“I want to see you,” he said, sensing my uneasiness. He dragged his hand down my arm and lifted the edge of my shirt up, so there was no confusion as to what he meant.
I nodded and quickly peeled off my pajamas and underwear, tossing them aside, so I was completely naked.
He made a deep growling sound as he ran a finger over my nipple. “You’re so beautiful,” he said. I swallowed hard against the lump in my throat. “Come closer. Let me see you better.”
With his hands, he guided me so I was straddling his stomach, my pussy pressed against his firm abdomen, leaving a damp spot.
“That’s better,” he said, reaching up to tuck a stray piece of hair behind my ear. He was quiet as he took me in, taking the time to admire all of my body. “Wait, we’re missing something . . .” he trailed off, suddenly lifting his ass a few inches off the bed. I squeaked in surprise, bracing myself against his chest, as he shimmied out of his briefs.
Now with his erection free, I could feel the heat of his cock bumping against my ass, searing my skin. My pussy pulsed like a heartbeat. We were so close, all I had to do was lift my ass and notch him at my entrance.
So why was I hesitating?
I just . . . didn’t want this to end. I didn’t want this to be the last time I felt his cock inside me. The last time I orgasmed with him. I wasn’t exaggerating when I told Ansel that he was my perfect life. I have suffered from anxiety that resulted in frequent panic attacks and low self-esteem all my life. When Carter dumped me and I thought I had lost my last chance at love, those feelings had only intensified. Despite all the therapy, retreats, and time working on myself, I still believed I was unworthy of love.
It only took being kidnapped by a sexy orc to realize how wrong I was.
These past two weeks with Ansel had been no walk in the park. After being kidnapped, forced into a club filled with Ansel’s enemies, and having my life threatened on multiple occasions, you would think my anxiety would be through the roof. And it was, but that panic was only temporary.
Now, as I think about what my life would look like without Ansel in it, I could feel that dark spiral already returning. And no amount of medication or self-love will fix my heart.
I would take on Gregor’s whole army if it meant I was guaranteed a future with Ansel.
But in the end, it didn’t matter. Ansel was too stubborn to change his mind. My only choice was to enjoy him while I still could.
“If you’re trying to punish me,” he whispered, rubbing his finger over my tight nipple. “It’s working.”
I huffed a laugh, my insides tightening at the sound of his raspy voice. Just as smoky as the tobacco he smokes.
I leaned my weight forward, bracing my hands against his pecs as I grinded against the muscles of his stomach. Just trying to relieve some of the ache in my core.
Ansel choked out an anguished sound but didn’t push me any further. He was letting me take my time, go at my own pace.
I guess I can’t put this off any longer,I thought. I planted one hand in the center of his chest for balance and lifted my ass in the air. With my other hand wrapped around his shaft, I carefully guided him to the entrance of my sex. I was still a little sore from our impromptu fuck session yesterday, but the soreness was nothing compared to the deep ache I felt for him.
I focused on my breathing as I slowly lowered myself onto his cock. His tip was thick, and I had to close my eyes and concentrate as I worked through the burning sensation.
Once I made it past the tip, I let gravity take the reins and rested both my hands on his chest as I slowly sunk down on him. I gasped in surprise once I reached his hips, completely bottomed out.
